A Shocking Business
by dublin writer
Summary: This is an original story I wrote where Steve suffers a traumatic incident and it tells how both him and Mike deal with the aftermath. Thank you to those who reviewed and commented on my other stories. I hope you will enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Disclaimer: I do not own the SOSF characters. They belong to their creators.
1. Chapter 1

**A Shocking Business **

**AN : I would like to dedicate this story to keller12917 who has been very supportive of me since joining this fandom and has been very patient waiting for me to complete and post this story...Hope you feel it was worth the wait and thank you for your kindness and support. It is much appreciated. I'd also like to thank all those who read and reviewed my other stories. Your encouragement and support inspires me to write more. I hope you all enjoy this latest offering.**

**Most of ****the characters I have borrowed from the creators of the SOSF but others I have made up to enhance my story. **

Chapter 1

It had been a hectic week in the Bureau of Inspectors and Inspector Steve Keller sat buried behind a tower of paperwork that was sitting on his desk. There had been six homicides that week alone and all the detectives in the bullpen were flat-out trying to solve them. The sound of incessant typing filled the air and the phones were ringing off the hook.

Steve had been working hard on the paperwork since seven am and by ten o'clock he had managed to reduce the pile on his desk down to half what it was. His fingers felt like they were going to fall off and his back was starting to stiffen from being hunched over his typewriter all morning. Staring at the small type also had his eyes sore and if he wasn't mistaken he could feel a headache building deep within his skull. The young detective leaned back in his chair and rubbed the aching muscles in the back of his neck. He then rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms up in the air and behind him trying to ease out the protesting muscles in his back. Steve didn't actually mind doing the paperwork and he was a fairly quick typist thanks to his college days. Just today the paperwork seemed never-ending and Steve was feeling the strain. Perhaps, he thought, a cup of coffee would perk him up so he fumbled in his jacket pocket for a dime and headed over to the coffee table for some much-needed caffeine refreshment.

As he dropped the dime in the tin and poured himself a coffee he glanced up into Mike Stone's office. Mike had been in a meeting with Captain Rudy Olsen for the past hour and a half and he looked frazzled and dejected. He had hoped to secure some extra men to take the pressure off his currently overworked detectives but things did not look as though they were going well. Steve couldn't hear what was being said but every now and then he could make out Mike's raised voice and he looked fit to explode. At that moment Steve almost felt sorry for the Captain. When Mike was in that frame of mind Steve had learned it was best to run for cover and let the older detective calm down before eventually producing Mike's favourite sugared doughnuts at just the right moment which usually dispelled the last of Mike's anger. Yes, if the Captain knew Mike as well as Steve thought he did , he'd hightail it out of there while he still could. Steve laughed at that thought but just at that moment Mike saw Steve laughing and glared so intently that Steve looked away embarrassed and taking his cup of coffee returned to his desk and to his diminishing pile of paperwork.

It was as if Captain Olsen had read Steve's mind because less than five minutes later Steve heard the door to Mike's office open and heard the Captain's last words to Mike.

" I'm sorry Mike. You know my hands are tied. The money just isn't there. Leave it with me and I'll do the best I can. I'll get back to you Mike. In the meantime just do the best you can with what we've got. "

With those words,Rudy Olsen walked quickly past Steve's desk and out of the bullpen. Steve was still at his typewriter with his back to Mike's office and as it wasn't the outcome he knew Mike was hoping for, he casually glanced over his shoulder to see how Mike was taking the news. Mike was still sitting at his desk. He looked mad as hell and was rearranging his desk files with murderous intent. Steve was trying to decide whether he should go see if he was ok or if he should stay the hell away until he had calmed down a little but while his gut instinct told him to stay put, Steve decided to be brave and he crossed the floor and poked his head around Mike's door frame.

" You ok Mike? Can I get you anything? A coffee maybe? " Steve bravely offered.

" Can you believe that guy ? Bureaucratic red tape. Don' t have the money! You know as well as I do Steve they find the money when they need to. Do the best with what you have ! All I have is a room full of hard-working detectives who are worked to the bone. Look out there Steve. They're exhausted, overworked and fed up and I don't blame them ! "

Steve walked into the office and over to Mike's desk and the movement brought Mike out of his tirade and as if remembering earlier he yelled at Steve.

" And what were you laughing at earlier? You think this is a laughing matter hotshot? Huh?

" Now what are you yelling at ME for?" Steve retaliated " Hey, I'm on your side remember? What are you going to do now?"

Mike looked past Steve out at the bullpen and at all the other detectives who were frantically taking calls and working hard and then took his glasses off and rubbed his tired eyes. Still looking down at this desk he answered Steve dejectedly.

" I don't know Steve. I really don't know. We'll just have to rework the shift rosters and try to let some of these guys home for some well-earned rest. In the meantime I'll have to pull some guys back off leave . And I HATE having to do that Steve! I just don't see any other way."

In that moment Steve felt sorry for Mike. Mike was one of the good guys. He was a good boss to have. Oh, he could work you hard alright but he looked after your best interests and treated all his men fairly and with respect. But most of all Mike cared...Yeah that was what it came down to in everything Mike did. He cared...That was the one thing that made Mike the great cop he was. However sometimes that took its toll . Mike looked tired and dejected and Steve hated to see him like that.

" Tell you what, Mike. Why don't I get us both a cup of coffee and I'll go through the rosters with you. Maybe we can come up with a solution together. My paperwork is almost done. What do you say?"

Mike looked up at Steve. The boy never ceased to amaze him. The one thing that always endeared the young detective to Mike was his thoughtfulness. Yes, Steve had a big heart. He very rarely complained about anything and he had a marvellous ability to read people. He nearly always knew the right thing to say and over the last three years that he had worked with Steve he had witnessed him talking people out of killing themselves and on occasion out of pulling a trigger. Yes ,they were Steve's strong points alright, his big heart, his perception and his silver tongue. Looking at Steve now Mike began to feel guilty. Despite Steve's habitual wide smile that could melt the coldest of hearts, Steve looked as exhausted as he felt himself. He had been worrying about the whole department and almost overlooked his own partner. They had both been at work now for over twenty hours with no sleep. And then Steve had mentioned the paperwork! Steve always did more than his fair share of that knowing that Mike detested it. It was only now that Mike remembered how big the pile of files had been on his desk and if he had it almost finished he must be fit to drop! Yet still he managed to smile and offer to get him coffee and help him with the rosters... You are really something buddy boy! Mike hadn't realized he had zoned out until he suddenly saw Steve's hand wave in front of his face.

" Hey Mike..you still with me... You ok ? "

"Oh yeah, sorry I was miles away. It's been a long shift hasn't it buddy boy? You know coffee sounds nice and I'd appreciate your help with the rosters. Thanks Steve. "

" You're welcome Mike. I'll go get the coffees and we'll get started " Steve said smiling and turned to leave the office, fumbling in his pocket for two dimes as he went. But just as he reached the door...

" Steve..."

" Yeah ? "

" Do you think you could get some of those doughnuts too? You know the little sugar ones I like? If it's not too much trouble...that is "

"Sure Mike, no problem. It'll just take me ten minutes." Steve replied and as he left Mike's office his smile was wider than ever. As he went to his desk and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair he almost looked forward to the walk to the doughnut shop. Although the shop was only down the block a ways the fresh air would do him good and the walk would help him ease out his sore muscles. And he reckoned those doughnuts were the best pick me up that Mike could get right now. With that thought he headed out the door, down the stairs and out into the refreshing morning air.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 2

The trip to the doughnut shop was just what the doctor ordered for Steve. He had been cooped up in the bullpen for too long this morning. Outside the sun was shining and the sky was an expanse of blue. There was a refreshing breeze blowing in his face and the sounds of the traffic and hustle and bustle around him were a welcome change from the sound of typing and ringing phones back at the office. The owner of the doughnut shop practically knew every officer and detective from the precinct by their first name . After all they were his best customers. As the door opened and in walked Steve, Gus smiled. He was especially fond of this young man and his partner Mike Stone. Always smiling, always friendly and they often called in and chatted with Gus about the latest baseball game or warned him to be careful when there was a spate of burglaries in the area. Today Steve didn't seem to have his usual spring to his step. His cheerful smile belied the fatigue that was etched on his face.

"Morning Gus. The usual order please! " Steve said smiling at the old man behind the counter. " You know the sugared ones that Mike likes? "

" Oh oh, the sugared doughnuts can only mean one thing Steve. Mike needs cheering up huh? Or maybe you are getting a peace offering? "

Steve laughed at the old Italian's perceptiveness. "Nailed it in one Gus. Things are a little hectic in the precinct these days. Guess we're all feeling the strain."

" You don't look like you've had a lot of sleep either Steve. You know it's not healthy. A young man like you should be out romancing the ladies of an evening not chasing criminals down dark alleyways. Eh? Am I right? You know I worry about you guys, Steve. It's a big bad world out there! "

Again Steve chuckled. " You know what they say Gus, it's a dirty job but someone has to do it. "

Steve thought about the rest of the guys back in the bullpen and eyed up all the delicious doughnuts in Gus's display.

" Hey, you know what Gus, I'll take two more boxes for the other guys back at the office too please. I reckon they could all use a sugar boost about now. "

" You have a big heart, Steve, you know that ? I just hope they appreciate you. Here , I'll throw in a bag of those sunflower seeds you love free of charge. You need a bit of kindness too. Eh?"

"Thanks Gus. You're a star you know that ? You take care now! Bye." Steve said as he paid Gus and headed back to the madness of the office.

As Steve came back into the bullpen he noticed how stressed everyone looked. He headed over to his desk , opened the boxes of doughnuts and raised his voice slightly so he could be heard over the pandemonium.

"Hey guys. Listen up! You're all looking a bit frazzled so I thought you could all use a sugar boost. The doughnuts are on me! Come and get em! "

The whoops and hollers that ensued brought an even bigger smile to Steve's face as every detective dropped what they were doing and headed over to Steve's desk to partake of their treat. As they filed past Steve,patting him on the back and thanking him, Steve felt that his kind act had done some good.

Feeling a bit better himself, he placed two dimes in the coffee tin, he poured two cups of coffee, picked up Mike's bag of doughnuts and headed into Mike's office.

Mike had seen Steve return and was very touched at the way Steve had bought doughnuts for the whole office. He watched as the detectives got a new lease of life all thanks to Steve and marvelled again at Steve's ability of always knowing what was needed. He was still staring and smiling at Steve when he entered his office which slightly unnerved the younger detective.

" What? " Steve asked as he placed the coffee and the bag on Mike's desk and sat down opposite Mike.

"You know Steve, if I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to buy your way into their affections buddy boy! " Mike chided.

Steve laughed. " Just trying to spread a little happiness Mike. That's all !"

" Well let's see if you can work your magic and spread a little happiness over these rosters, buddy boy!" Mike said as he reached for his coffee and a sugared doughnut.

They enjoyed their doughnuts and coffee and the next hour was spent pouring over shift rosters. No matter how they tried to arrange it, the detectives shifts still ended up being long and the time off in comparison relatively short. Mike was getting frustrated again.

" We need more manpower Steve. That's all there is to it."

" You heard the Captain, Mike. That's not going to happen." Steve said rubbing the back of his neck as the muscles started to stiffen up again.

"Ok, Let's just sort out today and tomorrow's roster for now. Which detectives have worked the longest up to now?"

Steve glanced through the papers in his hand. "That's you and me Mike. We started our shift at three yesterday afternoon and it's now one o clock so that's twenty-two hours Mike. " Saying it out loud like that suddenly made him feel totally spent and he stifled a yawn.

" Am I keeping you awake Buddy boy ? " Mike joked looking at his partner trying to suppress another yawn.

"Sorry Mike. I'm starting to feel every minute of those twenty-two hours and I swear I can hear my bed calling me."

" I know what you mean Steve." Mike said sympathising " I'm starting to feel it too. Let's finish this up so we get some well-earned rest. Give me the lowdown on the other shifts please?"

Again referring back to his papers, Steve continued "Ok, after us Tanner and Brice have been on since eight last night. Harris and Lochner are on since three am and Lessing and Haseejian started shift at twelve pm today . Healy and Martin are due in at two today and we've got Fernandez, Carter and Lopez currently on leave. "

" Ok, Steve. What about those on leave? Can we call them back in? "

" I don't think so Mike. Lopez still isn't cleared for active duty yet since the shooting last month. Fernandez has gone home for his Dad's funeral and Carter's out with the flu.."

"Well, that's settled. We'll have to stick with fourteen hours on, ten hours off until things settle down. We'll have four on duty each shift with two detectives overlapping both. Together they worked on the roster for another forty minutes and finally they had it sorted. Tanner, Brice, Mike and Steve were to finish at two pm and head back in for midnight much to Steve's disgust.

"You're destroying my social life..Mike " Steve had said with a smile.

"Well, I'm real sorry, buddy boy. Maybe you should tell all the murderers to stop killing people so that you can have a social life again." Mike had chided.

By the time the roster was finished and put up on the noticeboard, Steve felt fit to drop. He sat at his desk and rubbed his eyes. He then started sorting the files he had typed earlier ready for the Captain's inspection. Mike saw Steve from his office and worried about how tired he looked. He left his office and approached Inspector Lee Lessing's desk. Having spoken to him he then returned to his office and collected his coat , hat and belongings and then approached Steve. Steve was so engrossed in his sorting that he barely noticed Mike approaching until he put a hand on his shoulder.

" Come on, buddy boy. I think you've done enough with those files until later. Time to go home. "

" It'll just take me a minute Mike. I'm nearly finished. "

"No, Steve. Come on. " Mike said almost prying the files out of Steve' s hand.

" I don't think either of us are fit to drive home. Norm and Lee are heading over to the DA's office to pick up some files so they're going to drop us both home on the way. Get your things together."

" Home sounds good right now Mike..." Steve said as he grabbed his jacket and all four men headed down to the car park.

Inspector Lee Lessing was driving with Steve seated behind him and Sgt Norm Haseejian was in the passenger seat with Mike seated behind him. All four men drove off with Mike and Steve looking forward to a few hours sleep.

Less than two blocks from the precinct the radio came on.

" Headquarters to Inspectors 52, come in please..."

Lee Lessing picked up the receiver and answered..." Inspectors 52 here, over!"

" We have a 10/11 in progress at Affinity bank,on Geary boulevard. Reports say shots have been fired. Inspectors 29 Harris and Lochner are in attendance but they have requested back up. Please respond..."

" 10/4 headquarters, we are just a couple of blocks away and are en route "

Lessing replaced the radio while Haseejian reached for the red light and placed it on the roof.

"Sorry, guys. You want us to drop you off here or are you going to tag along?" Lessing asked looking at the two detectives in his rearview mirror.

Mike looked at Steve trying to judge what he wanted to do." Sounds like serious trouble Steve. Maybe we should lend a hand. What do you think buddy boy? You up to it? "

" Sure, Mike. Why not? Sleep is pretty over rated anyways. Let's go! "

With that the blue LTD sped off weaving through traffic. As they drove out onto Geary Boulevard they were not expecting to see one of the gunmen at the top of the steps to the bank firing at anything that moved and as Lee Lessing swerved the car sideways blocking the road the gunman fired repeatedly at them shattering the driver's window and the window behind. The detectives had little time to react as a hail of bullets followed in quick succession...


	3. Chapter 3

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 3

" Get down ! " shouted Mike when he saw the shooter aim at their car. Mike and Norm Haseejian quickly scrambled our their doors to safety leaving Lee and Steve with no other choice but to dive across the seats front and back. As the two windows exploded a shower of glass rained down on their backs. Steve and Lee crawled quickly along the seats all the time keeping their heads down while Mike and Norm helped them out the other side. Soon all four of the detectives were safely behind the squad car while the other side was riddled with bullets.

" Are you two ok? " Mike asked Steve and Lee, his voice full of concern, as he watched the two detectives brush fragments of glass from their clothes and hair.

" Yes " the two detectives said almost in unison, breathing heavily, knowing the close call they had just had.

" That was a little too close though..." Steve said, voicing what the others had been thinking. "How do you want to play it Mike? "

Before answering, Mike studied the situation. He noticed that the squad car of Harris and Lochner had the other side of the road blocked and he could see the two detectives behind their vehicle too. Crossing the other three, to the front of the car Mike reached in to the radio and having adjusted the buttons starting speaking into it.

" Lockner, this is Mike. What is the situation as you know it. Over "

The radio crackled for a moment before a voice finally responded.

" Mike, as far as we can tell there are four perps. All heavily armed. We got reports that a security officer is down and there are possibly up to forty hostages although they seem more concerned with getting away than bargaining with them. They're highly dangerous Mike. I'll wait your instructions Mike. Over. "

" Have you called the snipers out yet? Over "

" Yes, Mike but they're having trouble getting through a traffic jam on the Bay Bridge. Over ."

Before Mike could make any more decisions two gunmen ran from the bank and down the steps firing at both police cars using what looked like uzi machine guns. Behind the cover fire, and from where they were situated Steve and Lee could see the other two perps descend the steps and take off up the alleyway beside the bank. The detectives crouched down as their vehicles took heavy fire. Steve was situated at the back end of the car and from under the back bumper he had a clear shot of one of the shooters legs.

" Mike, I have a clear shot! " Steve shouted above the intense gunfire.

Mike looked up to see Steve positioned where he was.

" Take it Steve... "

Without another thought Steve carefully sought and found his target and discharged one bullet that sent one gunman to the ground clutching his leg. As the second gunman glanced at his fallen comrade for merely seconds Mike took advantage of the distraction and standing up quickly, fired his bullet, striking the second gunman in the left shoulder. With both gunmen grounded the shooting stopped and the detectives waited several seconds to make sure the danger had passed before coming out behind the squad cars.

All four detectives then carefully approached the two grounded men their weapons raised.

" Police, Discard your weapons and keep your hands where we can see them!" Mike shouted. As Norm and Mike dealt with the two fallen perps. Steve and Lee ran toward the alleyway where the other two perps had fled earlier.

"We're going after the other two, Mike." Steve shouted back over his shoulder.

" Be careful ! " Mike shouted back fearing for the danger Steve and Lee were heading into as the two detectives disappeared up the alley.

At the same time Lochner appeared from behind his squad car.

"Mike, Harris is down! I've requested paramedics. They're on their way but the Bay bridge traffic jam is holding them up and our back up assistance! "

Dear God, Mike thought. Can things get any worse?

Harris had a shoulder wound but having assessed it Mike was satisfied that it wasn't life threatening and once they controlled the bleeding he was happy that he'd be ok. Having to stay with the fallen perps and and assisting Lochner with Harris meant that Mike and Norm couldn't follow and assist Steve and Lee. He hoped to God they were ok and worry began to eat away at him as he kept a close eye over the alleyway entrance hoping to see the two detectives emerge with two handcuffed gunmen so that he could finally breathe a sigh of relief but as fifteen minutes passed and no-one emerged Mike's gut instinct was setting off alarm bells in his skull.

"Damn it. WHERE is our back up? " Mike roared, his voice etched with worry and frustration.

As if in answer to his plea Mike heard sirens blaring from all directions as police cars and paramedics quickly bore down on their location.

"Thank God" Mike heard himself say out loud as he issued instructions to the uniformed officers to guard the perps, secure the crime scene, check on the downed officer in the bank, get the paramedics to the injured and check on the people in the bank. Finally with the scene under control he called on Haseejian to assist him in following their partners. However as they neared the alleyway entrance the sound of Steve's frenzied and hysterical shouts sent a cold shiver down Mike's spine.

" MIKE...!...HELP...! "

Nothing would prepare Mike and Norm for what they saw as they turned the corner and ran down the alleyway...


	4. Chapter 4

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 4

**20 Minutes Earlier :**

As Steve and Lee approached the alleyway they took point on each side. Very carefully they quickly stole a glance down the alleyway. The alleyway was empty. No sign of the gunmen. Lee and Steve looked at each other and in that momentary glance understood the danger they were about to put themselves in. Both officers could feel their adrenaline levels increase as their hearts beat faster and their breathing became more laboured. Steve signalled to Lee to go up the alley on his side and he'd take the other.

" Keep your eyes peeled and your safety catch off Lee. If you see the gunmen shoot first to subdue and we'll ask questions later. Don't take any chances. Ok? " Steve advised.

Lee nodded that he understood and then they both took a deep breath and entered the alleyway keeping close to the wall on each side, Steve on the left, Lee on the right, weapons raised, alert for any noise or movement that could signal danger. About ten yards down the alleyway as the detectives went by, a side door burst open behind Lee and a restaurant worker appeared with an armful of boxes. Steve and Lee whirled around pointing their weapons at the startled young man .

"Don't shoot...don't shoot!" shouted the terrified man.

Luckily, the two detectives were well-trained in this type of exercise and were always aware of possible civilians in the line of fire. Both lowered their weapons and let out the breath they hadn't realised they'd been holding.

"Sorry, it's ok. We're police officers. Take it easy. Has anybody entered that doorway in the last ten minutes?" Steve asked the still shaking young man.

"No...no..." the young man stammered but something about his demeanor bothered Steve. He spoke as if under duress. As if he still had a gun pointed at him... But their guns were lowered...Therefore the only explanation was ...that the gunmen were in there with him !

Lee walked toward the young man to reassure him just as realisation dawned on Steve.

"LEE...WATCH OUT! " Steve yelled raising his weapon and rushing forward but within a matter of seconds one shot rang out and the young man in the doorway fell forward and then a second shot hit Lee square in the chest as he fell backwards. The gunman appeared just as quickly pointing his gun in Steve's direction but Steve was quicker and shot him in the chest before he could squeeze his trigger for a third time... The gunman went down inches from Lee. Steve was breathing so hard now his heart threatened to burst from his chest. He inched forward watching the downed gunman but also keeping his eye on the doorway for the second one. He saw Lee and his heart threatened to stop altogether. He was bleeding profusely from a bullet hole in his chest and he had a terrified look on his face. He wanted nothing more than to go to Lee and start helping him but the other gunman could be inside waiting for him to lower his weapon. He glanced quickly down the alley. Where was Mike?

Making the grim realisation that for now no help was coming, Steve inched ever forward. As he got to the three downed men he crouched down still keeping his gun trained on the doorway. He took the gun out of the gunman's hand and checked for a pulse all the while keeping his eyes trained on the door. No pulse. He then put out his free hand and grasped Lee's hand and risked a quick glance at his colleague.

" Hang in there Lee. You're going to be alright. Stay with me. "

He then reached down to the young man who was lying on his front ,a seeping gunshot wound in his back. Again he checked for a pulse...listening still for any movement inside the doorway. No pulse... Damn it! Steve was now inches from entering the doorway. He had to check if the situation was clear so that he could help Lee quickly as he wasn't sure how much time he had. He had to make the first move!

He glanced once more down the alley hoping to see Mike and more officers rushing to his aid but on still seeing none he stood up slowly and summoning up the last bit of strength he had he burst through the open doorway, his gun ready to fire if necessary. A kick to his chest came out of nowhere and sent him falling backwards over the prone bodies and he landed heavily on his back. The movement knocked the wind out of him and when he landed the gunman came out after him and kicked the gun from his hand. In just as swift a movement the perp pointed his gun straight at Steve's head...

In that instant, time stood still for Steve. His whole life flashed before his eyes. He thought of Mike...God how would he take Steve's death? He never got to thank him for always being there for him. He never got to tell him that he cared for him like a father. He thought of Jeannie...He'd never get to see her again or tell her how much she meant to him. As a best friend, like a sister or as a future partner he wasn't sure in that moment. All he was sure of was that she was the only girl he cared to think of in his last moments and that he would miss her... God, Steve ,this is it, he thought as he heard the hammer pulled back on the gunman's pistol. He closed his eyes tightly and waited for the loud bang that would soon follow and end his life...


	5. Chapter 5

**A Shocking Business**

AN**: Apologies for any medical inaccuracies there may be in the rest of my story. I did research everything the best I could but as I am not medically minded I may have overlooked something. Please be assured I did try to be as accurate as possible. **

**Also to be warned this story may show a side of Steve that was never explored in the original series. However it is my honest take of how he would have reacted had something such as the incident in my story occurred to throw him completely off-balance. I have tried to keep him true to his character at the same time so I hope you will all find it plausible and acceptable.**

Chapter 5

But the loud bang never came. Instead there was a click. Steve opened his eyes and looked at the gunman. He wore a black balaclava so all Steve could see were two piercing green eyes. He fired again. Steve tensed. Click. His gun had jammed. Finally admitting defeat the gunman lowered his weapon, gave a maniacal laugh and in one fluid movement took off up the alley again.

Steve felt frozen to the spot. He couldn't believe his luck. He was still alive!

Get a grip Steve, he told himself but it took him several seconds to pull himself together. When he finally managed to, he scrambled for his gun and got unsteadily to his feet and he took off after the gunman. In the distance he saw the man scale the wall at the end of the alley.

" Freeze! Police! Stop or I'll shoot.." he yelled pointing his weapon in the perp's direction.

For a split second the gunman froze and looked around at Steve, but then turned and threw his leg up over the wall in one quick movement. Steve fired but his hand was shaking so bad he wasn't sure if he'd managed to hit him or not. The gunman disappeared over the wall. Steve banged the alley wall with his fist.

"Damn it! " he yelled, annoyed with himself for letting him get away.

Then turning he ran as fast as his shaking legs could carry him back to Lee.

When he got back to his fallen colleague, Lee was in a bad way. His chest was covered in blood and his breathing was very shallow. His eyes were closed and Steve feared the worst. Steve examined where the wound was and took out a clean handkerchief from his pocket and carefully pressed down to try to control the bleeding. He spoke softly, coaxing the detective to look at him.

"Lee, hey buddy. Open your eyes pal. Come on Lee, it's Steve. Stay with me"

Lee's eyes fluttered open and looked at Steve. He winced as Steve pressed down on his wound. " Hurts..." he moaned.

"I know pal. I'm sorry! I have to stop the bleeding. Just stay with me. Ok? Help will be here soon." I hope, he thought to himself. WHERE is Mike?

" Steve...my wife and kid...you tell them... I love them...promise me?" Lee gasped, every word pain filled and distressed. " Did ...you get... them?"

"I got one Lee, one got away. Don't try to talk anymore Lee. You need to save your strength. And you can tell them you love them yourself. Ok? You're going to make it... You hear me?" Steve said,his voice starting to break as the stress and strain of the last fifteen minutes took their toll.

" Promise...me...Steve" Lee insisted reaching out and grabbing Steve's arm.

"Ok, I promise. Now just take it easy."

Steve was having trouble stopping the blood flow. At this stage both Steve's hands and the front of his shirt were covered in blood and Lee's eyes started to glaze over.

" Hold on Lee...please hold on! "

Lee took one long breath and his head fell to one side.

" NO!... LEE!" Steve yelled helplessly.

He took his pulse and found none. Oh God no! Immediately Steve started chest compressions." Come on Lee! Don't you die on me! MIKE! HELP! MIKE! " Steve shouted as loud as he could. Somebody come, please, somebody help me he thought. Just then he looked up and saw Mike and Norm running up the alley toward him.

When Mike saw Steve his worst fears were realized. He could see his young partner crouched over the prone body of Lee Lessing desperately trying to save his life. He stopped and shouted at the nearest police officer to send paramedics quickly to the alley. Norm reached them first and Steve asked him to apply pressure to the wound which he dutifully did. When Mike reached them his eyes met Steve's briefly. He had never seen such desperation and helplessness in Steve's eyes before. Norm was devastated on seeing his partner and his lifeless eyes told him his partner was gone. He looked up at Mike and wordlessly they conveyed to each other that they were thinking the same thing. Lee was dead. Still Steve kept up the chest compressions, despite his protesting muscles. He wasn't giving up on Lee.

Mike's heart broke for Steve. He didn't know yet what had happened fully but with the carnage around him and the haggard look in Steve's eyes it must have been traumatic. He checked the other two bodies and found no pulses.

He approached Steve and placed his hands on Steve's shoulders.

"Steve, he's gone, buddy boy... You need to stop"

" No, Mike, not till the paramedics get here! He's got a chance. We can't just give up on him."

Just then as if on cue two paramedics rounded the corner into the alleyway and headed straight for them. As the two medics took over from Steve and Norm, Mike gently pulled Steve back away from Lee. He could almost feel the strength drain out of Steve and so held him by the arms securely for fear he'd fall over if he didn't. Steve seemed miles away staring at the paramedics working on Lee.

" You did all you could Steve. There's nothing more you could have done " Mike reassured Steve while also reaching out and putting one hand on Norm's shoulder as he stood looking at his lifeless partner.

" No Mike...he can't be..." Steve said his voice breaking and tears forming in his eyes .

As if by a miracle in that moment, one of the paramedics suddenly stated...

" There's a pulse! It's a weak one, but it's there! Let's get him out of here STAT !

The three detectives couldn't believe their ears as a massive relief washed over them.

"I told you Mike, he's a fighter... " Steve said. " He has to be ok! "

"You did good Steve, real good, buddy boy ! " Mike said proudly. " But he's badly hurt Steve. It could still go either way. You have to be prepared for the worst just in case! "

Lee was quickly attended to and was within seconds on his way to the ambulance. Mike told Norm to go along with him and that left Steve and Mike still in the alley along with two other paramedics who were checking the other two lifeless bodies.

Steve's appearance worried Mike. He was way too quiet. His hands and the front of his shirt were covered in blood and he could feel Steve shaking. His breathing seemed very fast too.

"Are you hurt, buddy boy?" Mike asked wondering now if perhaps some of the blood was in fact his.

When Steve didn't answer Mike decided to look for himself and pulling Steve's jacket to one side searched for any bullet holes or causes for the bleeding. This brought Steve out of his trance and he looked at Mike questioningly.

"What are you doing, Mike?"

"I'm just checking to see if you were hit buddy boy! "

At first Steve seemed confused but then he followed Mike's eyes down to his midsection and when he saw all the blood he realized what Mike was worried about.

" No Mike, it's not mine. It's all Lee's. I wasn't hit." Steve said remembering his close call and shivering at the thought.

The shiver was not lost on Mike and Mike began to study Steve intensely. As police officers they were trained to watch for signs of shock in victims after accidents and shootings and right now Steve was displaying most of the symptoms and he looked like he'd been through hell and back. His skin was cold and clammy. He had beads of perspiration on his brow. His breathing was fast and laboured. He was just about to call one of the paramedics over when Inspector Bill Tanner came running up to Mike in the alley.

"You ok for a minute, buddy boy, while I talk to Bill ? " Mike asked.

"Yeah... I'm ok.." Steve lied, leaning back against the wall. His legs felt like they wouldn't hold him up much longer and his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. He felt like he couldn't breathe properly and his brain kept replaying the last ten minutes in his head over and over...and over.

Mike didn't go too far from Steve and instead waited for the burly form of Inspector Tanner to reach him.

" Mike, I was on my way home when I heard the news on my radio. How's Harris and Lessing? "

" Harris will be ok Bill, just a flesh wound but Lee is bad...real bad...touch and go..." Mike informed him. " Listen Bill, I need you to get in touch with the Captain, Healy and Martin and tell them what's happened. Someone has to contact Harris and Lessing's wives and get them to Central Emergency asap. Can you look after that for me please ?"

" No worries Mike.." Tanner said and looking past Mike he saw the gaunt and blood covered form of Inspector Keller. "Is Steve ok Mike? He doesn't look good. "

"I think he's in shock Bill. I'm going to get him checked out. Let Olsen know, will you? "

Steve could hear Mike talking to Tanner. He suddenly felt really nauseous. He tried to swallow back the bile that was rising in his throat but it was no use so he staggered up the alley away from the others and in a quiet corner he proceeded to violently throw up.

Tanner noticed Steve moving unsteadily back up the alley behind Mike and alerted Mike. " Go take care of Steve, Mike..I'll look after the rest." And with that Tanner headed off.

"Thanks Bill!" Mike called after him and quickly turned his attention back to Steve. By the time Mike reached him he was finished vomiting but he looked deathly pale. He gently placed a hand on Steve's shoulder." Take it easy buddy boy...it's alright..." Mike said softly but then turned and called to one of the paramedics who were about to leave the alley ." Can I get a little help here please?"

" Sorry, Mike..." Steve gasped, embarrassed at throwing up in front of his partner. " Mike, I blew it...let one get away...I shot at him...don't know if I hit him or not..." With that ,Steve swayed and Mike steadied him.

" Alright Steve, don't worry about that now...I think you're in shock Steve. Let's get you checked out and then we'll talk about what happened. Ok? "

The paramedic turned and ran back up the alley as Mike guided Steve toward him. " I think he's in shock. He's just been sick and he's got all the signs." Mike informed him, growing more concerned for his partner by the minute.

The paramedic helped Mike guide Steve very shakily back out to the street and into the ambulance. Inside he was checked over and the paramedic then approached Mike. " His blood pressure is low alright and his heartbeat is irregular. He's definitely showing signs of shock. We're going to take him in now to get him checked if you want to ride along with him sir?"

Mike thanked the young man and got into the ambulance. Steve looked terrible. They had him lying down with his legs raised slightly and had him covered in a blanket. They had set up an IV in his left arm and cleaned the blood off his hands. He was staring blankly ahead but turned and gave Mike a forced smile when he saw him climb in.

" Hey Mike, Any word on Lee?..." Steve asked wearily...

"Not yet, buddy boy...Don't worry now. You just take it easy and try to rest. We'll be at the hospital soon."

" So tired ...Mike...Just need to close my eyes for a while...I'll be ok..." Steve almost whispered as the last of his strength left him and he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Mike remembered how exhausted they had both been before all this happened and couldn't even begin to imagine what Steve had just gone through. He suddenly felt guilty at not being there to help him and placing his hand on Steve's shoulder he leaned forward,tears forming in his eyes,and whispered

" I'm sorry I let you down ...buddy boy..."


	6. Chapter 6

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 6

Less than twenty minutes later,in the Emergency Department of the Hospital, Mike was waiting to find out how his detectives were doing. When he had arrived with Steve, they had taken him off to be examined and Mike was not allowed in , so he went looking for Norm and Lochner to see if there was any news. Both of the injured officers were gone to surgery. At last count, Lee was thankfully still hanging in there. All they could do was wait for news.

Soon after, Inspector Bill Tanner arrived. Having asked about his fellow officers condition, he proceeded to bring Mike up to speed on what was going on.

" The bank security guard didn't make it Mike. He died at the scene. None of the other bank staff were injured. They were locked up in an inner office before the gunmen made their escape. I have officers taking statements from them as we speak. The civilian's name was Cheng Lù. He'd been working in that restaurant in the kitchens for the past year and a half. He was twenty-eight years old and from Chinatown. No-one else was in that part of the kitchen when the incident happened. He'd been breaking up boxes and putting them out in the alley when he was shot. He died at the scene. There were four gunmen. The one Steve shot in the leg is in surgery, the other one that you shot died in the ambulance on the way here. The gunman in the alley also died at the scene. Lessing's gun wasn't fired. Steve's gun was fired twice. We reckon the gunman took down the civilian and Lee and then Steve took down the gunman. But we'll have to wait for confirmation from ballistics. We checked out what you told us about what Steve said. I have forensics combing that alley apart. Already they've found fresh bloodstains near the wall. Looks like Steve did hit the fourth guy. We've issued an alert to all clinics and hospitals to be suspicious of anyone turning up with an unexplained gunshot wound. Has Steve been able to give a statement yet Mike?"

" No, not yet. He hasn't said much. Good work Bill. Have we got identities on the gunmen yet and have the families of the deceased been informed.?"

" No identities yet Mike..we're still waiting on fingerprints to come back. And yes, we've informed the families. They're on their way in."

"Ok Bill, keep me informed if you hear any more and thanks!"

No sooner had Mike finished talking to Bill when the elevator doors opened and a very frazzled looking Rudy Olsen came racing out. Seeing Mike he headed straight toward him.

"Dear God Mike, Tanner just filled me in. How are Harris, Lessing and Keller doing? "

" Harris and Lessing are still in surgery and Steve's in with the doctor. There's no news on them yet. Damn it Rudy I told you this would happen! I told you! " Mike said furiously and then regretted his tone when he saw how genuinely concerned the Captain was. "We're down three men at the minute, we need some reinforcements or we can't function Captain."

"Yes, yes I know. I'll sort it Mike...I'll ring the Chief..I won't take no for an answer this time... I'm really sorry Mike... really,really sorry. I never meant for this to happen.." Rudy said despondently and headed off to find a phone.

In that moment, Mike felt bad for losing his temper with the Captain. After all he was just following orders that came from above just like they all did. He made a mental note to himself to apologize to Rudy when he returned but just at that moment a doctor appeared.

" Lt. Stone, I've just come from examining Inspector Keller. You were right to bring him in. He was suffering from shock but I can assure you it's only a mild case. His vitals were unstable when he came in. His breathing was way too fast, his blood pressure was quite low and his heartbeat was irregular. He was also showing signs of exhaustion and had bruising on his chest. We put him on an IV drip for hydration purposes and we sedated him and his vitals have almost returned to normal. He'll be under sedation for another hour or so, but then he should come around. You should be able to talk to him then and if his vitals remain stable he should be allowed home."

" Thank you Doctor, That is good news... Can you please let me know when he wakes up? I'd really appreciate it "

The older detective was very relieved but still wouldn't be totally happy until he'd seen Steve for himself. The doctor assured him that he would and Mike was then called away to talk to Lee Lessing's wife Marcia who had just been brought in. When Mike saw her his heart went out to her. She looked so upset.

" What happened Mike? How did it happen?..." she sobbed.

" We're not fully sure yet Marcia. He was chasing two gunmen down an alley with Steve. Steve was in shock when we got there so we haven't been able to ask him yet."

" Norm said that Steve saved his life...Is that true Mike?" she asked.

" Looks like it. He never gave up on him...Why don't I get you a cup of coffee and we'll wait with you for news. Ok?"

Together, Mike, Norm, Lochner and Marcia waited for news on the injured detectives. Soon they were joined by Harris' wife Julie and Rudy Olsen.

" Mike, The chief is sending us six men to help us out while all this is going on. I'm so sorry I didn't stand my ground with him earlier. Guess I just wanted an easy life." Olsen admitted ashamedly and sat down next to Mike.

" I'm sorry too Rudy. I was a little hard on you. I think we all could have done things a little differently today." Mike said patting Rudy on the back. " I guess sometimes being the Captain isn't an easy thing to be. "

"You got that right...Mike" Rudy said still feeling responsible and praying that his men would be ok.

Two hours passed before the surgeon came into view and headed towards them. They were informed that both detectives were out of surgery. Harris' shoulder wound had not been serious and he was on his way to Recovery. Lee Lessing had made it through surgery but it had been touch and go. The surgery had been successful. But the next twenty-four hours would tell the tale. He was being transferred to ICU.

Then Dr. Armstrong had appeared and informed Mike and Rudy that Steve was now awake and that his vital signs were now stable if they wished to see him. So all three men headed down to Steve's room and when they entered Steve was sitting up and looked better than he had the last time Mike saw him.

"Hey, buddy boy.. You look good. How are you feeling ?" Mike asked as he crossed the room and stood beside Steve's bed while Rudy stood at the end and the doctor went around to the other side to check Steve's blood pressure.

"Yeah, I feel better Mike..thanks, just my chest is a little sore that's all...How's Lee? "

"He made it through surgery. He needs to get through the next twenty-four hours now. He's in ICU "

"You up to telling us what happened earlier in the alley, Steve? Rudy asked .

"Yeah...Sure... Let's see..." Steve began, trying to clearly remember everything that happened.

"In your own time, buddy boy" Mike added " Just take it nice and slow. "

" Ok... Lee and I checked out the alley. It was empty, no sign of the gunmen. We took a side each and slowly went down with our weapons drawn. About ten yards down, a door burst opened and a guy came out carrying boxes..." Steve paused and felt himself becoming slightly anxious. The pause was not lost on the three men in the room who studied Steve closely not wanting to cause him upset again. Steve continued.." We thought it was the gunmen so we had our weapons aimed. He shouted at us not to shoot. As soon as we realized it was a civilian we lowered our guns. I told him it was ok, that we were police officers and I asked him if anyone had entered that door in the previous ten minutes. He said no but there was something not right about him Mike..."

"How do you mean, not right Steve?" Mike asked not liking how Steve seemed to be getting a little agitated.

" He seemed really nervous Mike. I mean I knew we startled him but it was more than that..he was really freaked out. Lee went over to him to calm him down but the whole situation seemed wrong. It was as if...as if..."

" As if the gunmen were in there with him?"...Mike asked.

"Yeah, that's what I figured ,but everything happened so fast Mike. I shouted at Lee to watch out but there was nothing I could do...Mike I couldn't stop it ! ... I...I tried..." Steve was getting upset and his breathing was getting faster.

Mike glanced across at the doctor and saw that he was looking concerned aswell. He had to calm Steve down...

"Alright...buddy boy, take it easy...Just take it slow and tell us what happened next. We know you did all you could... Everything's alright... Ok now... You ready to continue ?"

" Yeah, sorry Mike..." Steve took a few deep breaths and seemed to get control over his emotions and then he continued. "Like I said, it all happened so fast. I raised my gun but Lee and the boy were in my line of fire and I didn't have a visual on the shooter. There was a shot and the guy in the doorway fell forward. I ran toward the door but another shot rang out and Lee fell backwards. He didn't stand a chance Mike... I saw the shooter then and he turned his gun in my direction so I took him down...It all happened in seconds Mike, just seconds..." Steve stopped talking remembering the horror of the moment and all three men in the room suddenly felt great sympathy for the young man in the bed at having to deal with such an awful situation all by himself...

Steve remained quiet, staring blankly at nothing in particular, lost in the horrific memories in his head... He didn't even seem to notice the doctor putting a hand on his wrist to check his pulse. Mike's heart was breaking for Steve and again he was consumed with guilt at not being able to back him up at the scene.

It was Rudy who broke the silence and brought Steve out of his thoughts...

" Steve, what happened next...are you up to telling us?"

Steve realized that he had been miles away and suddenly felt embarrassed at showing his raw emotions to the men in the room. He quickly cleared his throat and vowed to himself to continue the story as objectively as he was able

" I looked to see if back up was coming but it wasn't so I carefully went toward the doorway. I couldn't see the other shooter and I didn't even know if he was in there or not. I kept my gun trained on the doorway and crouched down and disarmed the gunman on the ground. I checked his pulse and found none. Lee was bleeding bad but he was conscious so I spoke to him. I told him to hang on and take it easy... I checked the civilian for a pulse and there was none. Lee needed help fast so I decided I had to go in and clear the situation so I could get him medical assistance."

Mike marvelled at the way Steve had pulled himself together so fast and was reciting what happened as if it had happened to someone else. You never cease to amaze me buddy boy...However he worried about how long the young man could keep up the façade. While he was speaking very calmly Mike could see the worried faces the doctor was making as he kept a check on Steve's pulse and studied Steve with his trained medical eye...

"I stood up and went in. It was dark coming in from outside...I couldn't see the shooter but he just came out of nowhere Mike. He kicked me in the chest and I fell backwards and lost my footing over the bodies in the doorway and landed on my back in the alley... Then...I..." Steve began to panic...for the life of him he couldn't recall what happened next...The more he tried to remember, the more fuzzy his memory became. He looked up and saw all three men staring at him waiting to hear what happened next and sweat broke out on his forehead...His heart beat faster and he could feel a lump in his throat that threatened to choke him...

The change in Steve's condition was not lost on the men in the room. Mike quickly intervened placing his hand gently on Steve's shoulder.

" What's the matter Steve...What's wrong?... Speak to us buddy boy. "

Steve looked at Mike wide-eyed and desperate and Mike had never seen his partner so desolate and out of control emotionally...He reached out and grabbed Mike's arm.

" I don't remember what happened then Mike...I can't remember..."


	7. Chapter 7

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 7

The doctor intervened then lowering Steve back against his pillows. And taking out his stethoscope he started to examine his patient.

"It's not unusual in cases of shock that the patient's brain blocks out the memory that caused the traumatic event in the first place. It's the brain's way of protecting itself from the stress. If I were to guess I'd say Steve's trauma happened at that moment that he can't recall...I'm afraid you gentleman will have to finish this questioning soon, Steve is showing signs of extreme stress again. He needs to get some rest. I would recommend you leave getting any official statement off him until tomorrow at the earliest."

" I know this is difficult Steve, but can you remember anything else at all that would help us find the last shooter ?" Rudy asked leaning in towards Steve. " After asking the question Rudy couldn't help but see the glare that Mike shot at him and inwardly admired how protective he was toward Steve.

Steve tried to focus on remembering more details and small pieces of what happened came flooding back to him.

" I guess he must have ran up the alley because I followed him..."

He shut his eyes tight to try to focus on what happened and more memories came back .

"I told him to freeze or I'd shoot... He stopped for a split second but then he went over the wall... I fired at him but I don't know if I hit him or not...Then I ran back to Lee...He was in a bad way...I tried to stop the bleeding but there was blood everywhere... He spoke to me and...and then...he went quiet. I checked his pulse and there was none...I looked to see if help was coming but when it wasn't, I started chest compressions...I shouted for help and that's when Mike and Norm came..." The finishing of his story drained Steve of whatever strength he had left and he slumped further against the pillows.

"Alright Steve, you did real good buddy boy... Take it easy now. " Mike said his voice full of concern for his partner who looked exhausted and totally miserable.

The doctor spoke again..." I'm sorry gentlemen, I'm going to ask you to leave now. Steve needs to rest. He's been through quite enough for one day."

"Take it easy Steve, you did real good. I'm sorry you had to go through that. We'll get him Steve. Don't you worry. I'll see you later " Rudy said leaving the room. " You coming Mike? "

"I'll follow you in a minute,Captain.." Mike answered as he studied his young partner with concern. Steve was staring blankly at the wall lost in his thoughts. The doctor was preparing a syringe which Mike wondered about.

" Steve, your vital signs have gone crazy again so I'm going to give you a mild sedative to relax you. Don't worry, it won't knock you out completely, it will just relax you and help you to get some rest. Is that alright?"

"...Ok..." Steve answered without even looking around. Truth was that Steve was so damn tired... He just wanted to sleep and not have to think about anything for a while. He didn't even wince or complain as the needle was inserted into his arm and the drug was administered.

Now, Mike was even more worried! Steve hated needles and he hated drugs.

On more than one occasion in the past Mike practically had to stand over him and force him to take painkillers when he'd been shot or injured in the line of duty. He hated how they made him feel. Now here he was taking them with no fuss or objection.

"Steve, I have to go now but I'll check in on you later ok? " Mike said placing a hand on his arm. This touch brought Steve out of his trance and he looked at Mike and gave a feeble smile.

"Ok Mike...I'll be ok. I'll see you later "

Mike left the room then with the doctor following after. As they closed the door Mike spoke " Doctor, is he going to be alright ? He doesn't seem to be himself at all. And what about the memory loss? Will he get those memories back?"

" Steve's been through hell today Mike and whatever trauma he suffered is causing his brain to block out those painful memories. He's also what happens is that the memories could resurface at any stage, sometimes in a nightmare and when they do he needs to deal with them. I suggest you get him to talk to the department psychiatrist . In the meantime he needs to get some rest. I'm prepared to let him home if his vital signs remain stable but as he lives alone, I'd recommend that he stays with someone for a day or two to be on the safe side. If you'll excuse me now, Mike I have rounds to make. I'll check in on Steve on my way back " With that the doctor headed down the corridor.

Mike stood in the corridor outside Steve's room and concern was etched on his face. He thought about going back in to keep an eye on Steve but thought better of it. Steve needed some peace and quiet. He suddenly felt very tired too and realized that he hadn't slept for a very long time. He decided he needed a cup of coffee to perk him up as it would be a while before he could catch up on some well-earned rest so he headed down the corridor to the welcoming sight of the coffee machine.

Inside the room, the effects of the sedative were starting to kick in. While Steve still felt quite lucid he also felt calm and relaxed. It was a nice feeling not to have to be stressed anymore and he was tired of reliving those awful moments over and over in his head. His chest was sore and he really just wanted to go home but for now he'd settle for some long-awaited sleep. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and soon he found himself drifting off ...

Meanwhile, on the floor above in the ICU Marcia Lessing was sitting with her husband. The doctors were pleased with how he was doing and while he was hooked up to monitors and machines he was still alive, a fact ever-present by the beeping of the heart machine. She thought about what Norm had told her. He had said that he had thought that Lee was dead and Mike had too but that Steve had refused to give up on him and had continued chest compressions until the medics arrived when they had found a pulse. She shuddered when she thought of what could have been the outcome of today and in that moment she wanted to find Steve and thank him for saving her husband's life.

She got up from her seat ,leaned forward and kissed her husband's cheek

and then made her way out of the ICU and down the stairs to the floor below...

...


	8. Chapter 8

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 8

As Marcia came through the door into the corridor she saw a nurse coming out of the nurses station.

"Excuse me nurse, Would you be able to tell me how Inspector Steve Keller is and if he's up to visitors please?

"Are you family? the nurse asked.

"No, I'm not. The inspector saved my husband's life today. I just wanted to thank him and see how he was."

"Oh...you must be the wife of the police officer in ICU...?" the nurse realized " It really was a terrible thing to happen...How is he doing? "

" He's s hanging in there...but he's still not out of the woods yet..."

Marcia's voice wavered as the reality of those words sunk in and the nurse felt very sorry for the young woman in front of her. She looked as though she had been through hell and back. Although it wasn't strictly procedure, she reckoned there would be no harm in telling her how her patient was doing and allowing her to see him for a few minutes. Perhaps it would even help them both.

" Inspector Keller is in room 501. We are still monitoring his vital signs and he's been given a mild sedative a short while ago so that he can rest. Let me just check and see if he's asleep or not. Follow me please"

" Thank you, you're very kind ..but if he's resting I can come back another time. I don't want to disturb him..."

They had arrived outside room 501 and the nurse went in first, followed by Marcia Lessing. Steve appeared to be sleeping. Marcia noticed how pale he looked. The nurse went over to him and appeared to be checking his pulse. He woke at the touch and Marcia heard the nurse talking to him.

" Steve...I have someone here who would like to see you for a few minutes if you feel up to it..."

Steve had been drifting in and out of sleep. While the sedative had relaxed him, it hadn't taken away fully the visions that came to him every time he closed his eyes. He felt someone touch his arm and opening his eyes, he saw the nurse taking his pulse . She told him he had a visitor and he was both curious and anxious as to who it could be... For a quick moment, he hoped it would not be Lenny...He couldn't face talking to Lenny just yet but it would be just like Mike to arrange a little impromptu visit when he wasn't expecting it...

He rubbed his eyes to try to remove the heavy feeling the sedative had caused and looked past the nurse at the figure still standing just inside the door. However instead of the form of Lenny Murchison, Steve recognized the smaller figure of Marcia Lessing and his heart skipped a beat...

" I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes " the nurse said turning and leaving the room and as she passed Marcia she said "I can't let you see him for more than a few minutes I'm afraid. He's supposed to be resting.. Please try to keep him calm." And with those words she left the room.

Having seen Marcia, Steve was already getting anxious and had already began jumping to the wrong conclusions for her visit..

" Oh no Marcia, It's not Lee is it? " Steve said, trying to sit up...but the painful bruising to his chest meant he only managed to raise himself a few inches off the pillows...Realizing what Steve had assumed she hurried forward and placed a hand on his arm...

"No Steve, Lee is ok. He's hanging in there... I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing."

Steve slumped back against the pillows feeling relief wash over him but then he began to wonder if she blamed him for what happened to her husband and all at once the feeling of relief was replaced by guilt and shame at what had occurred while he was supposed to have been back up to Lee... Before she could speak again, he placed his hand on Marcia's and spoke but it took every last bit of strength he had left to hold back the tidal wave of emotions that up to now he had always managed to keep in check..

"Look, Marcia, about today... You've got to know that everything happened so fast... I tried to warn him but it was too late... before I knew it he was down...and I'm so sorry that it happened... You know if I could trade places with him I ... I would..." Steve's voice finally started to break. The upset that he'd been holding onto finally threatened to surface and he could feel a lump forming in his throat and moisture starting to cloud his vision, yet still Steve tried to hold on to his reserve as best he could..." You know, Marcia...Lee made me promise to tell you that he...he... loves you and Lisa very much... Marcia,...I'm so...so...sorry..." That was it...Steve couldn't bring himself to say another word...A soiltary tear escaped from his eye and rolled down his cheek and he looked away,as more threatened to follow it, embarrassed at his loss of control...

Marcia was very touched by Steve's words and had been afraid to answer for fear she might break down as he just had...but seeing Steve so upset now she felt guilty. She had come here to thank him not to upset him and this gave her the inner strength she needed to continue... Reaching out,she gently turned Steve's face back towards her and used her fingers to wipe away the few tears that were now falling down his cheeks...

"Oh Steve...please don't... I didn't come here to upset you... I came here to thank you Steve... To thank you for saving Lee's life for me and our daughter. You gave him this chance... You never gave up on him even when those around you had..." The sight of Steve so upset was more than she could bear.

" Oh Steve..." she said as another tear rolled down his face... " I didn't come here to blame you... I came here to bless you..." With that she squeezed his hand and leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. " I need to get back to him now. You feel better soon. And you should be proud of what you did. Thank you...and God bless you " and with one last squeeze of his hand, she turned and left the room.

As he watched Marcia leave the room, he wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. Damn it...pull yourself together he told himself but the reality was that was easier said than done. The lump in his throat refused to go away and he felt like it was choking him. He was annoyed with himself for breaking down in front of Marcia. Damn it Steve,what's wrong with you he thought to himself. He felt so strange... he never let things get to him this bad.

He always managed to keep his feelings in check around others despite how bad he often felt. Mike and Jeannie were the only ones who ever saw through his façade but thankfully he had never broken down to that extent in front of them. What worried him was that the way this day was going that might happen sooner than he'd like. He thought about other bad days in work when he'd felt demoralised or upset...how had he coped then? He wracked his brains trying to think but his mind wouldn't work properly.!.. He couldn't think straight . Must be the sedative he figured...Wait a minute...He'd head home early...Yes that was it...he'd go home by himself and leave the world outside..that is , when Mike would allow him to... At last he felt he knew what he had to do...He had to get out of here. He had to go home!

Feeling determined to carry out his plan he very gingerly eased himself into a sitting position and very carefully swung his legs over the side. His chest hurt like hell and he shook his head to try and clear the drug induced fog that seemed to have settled over his brain. He eased himself into a standing position but didn't count on the fact that his legs would refuse to hold him up and as his knees buckled he fell hard down onto the floor. He tried to grab the locker as he fell but only succeeded in sending a metal tray of medical instruments crashing to the floor beside him... The jolt when he fell jostled his already protesting ribs and as he breathed deeply to try and ride out the wave of pain , he cursed himself for getting himself into another embarrassing predicament . Nice one Steve, he thought... This day just keeps on getting better and better ...

As Marcia had closed the door to Steve's room behind her, her strength finally left her and she broke down in tears. Seeing Mike at the end of the corridor she hurried towards him. On hearing a woman's sobs Mike turned around and seeing Marcia, as Steve had earlier, feared the worst about Lee. He rushed to meet her and threw his arms around her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

" Now, now Marcia, Take it easy ... What's wrong? " he said trying to comfort her as best he could and at the same time fearing her reply." Is it Lee? "

"No...no... Mike... It's Steve ! "

At the unexpected mention of Steve's name, Mike's heart sank as he waited for the young woman to continue...

" I've upset him Mike... I didn't mean to...honest..." Marcia sobbed. " I just wanted to thank him for saving Lee... but I just upset him... Mike you need to go to him... I'm so sorry ! " Marcia was inconsolable... On hearing this Mike knew that Marcia was right. He needed to go to Steve and make sure he was ok especially if he'd been further upset from the already delicate state he'd left him in earlier, but first he had to take care of Marcia.

" Now, now, Marcia, I know you didn't mean to upset him... Steve's just been through a lot today. That's all ! He'll be ok. Now don't you worry about Steve. You need to be strong for Lee. He's not going to want to see you all upset when he wakes up , now is he? "

"No, you're right Mike...I better get back up to him...You'll look in on Steve?" Marcia asked, feeling a bit better knowing Mike would take care of him.

" I'll take care of Steve... don't you worry! Now I'll get Norm to bring you back up to ICU. And you take care of yourself. Ok? "

With those words Mike went and got Sgt. Haseejian to take Marcia back upstairs and quickly turned and raced down to Steve's room. As he was nearing the room, the sound of something falling followed by a metal crashing sound made his blood turn cold... Steve!... He turned the door handle while at the same time fearing what he would find in the room beyond.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 9

As the door opened and Steve looked up to see Mike race in, he cursed his bad luck again. This day keeps getting better he said again to himself .Of all the people who could have found him in a heap on the floor in a hospital gown, it HAD to be Mike!

" Steve!... What do you think you're doing out of bed! " Mike said ,his voice full of concern. He crouched down beside Steve and tried to ascertain whether he'd hurt himself in the fall... but Steve wouldn't catch his eye. He was afraid that his eyes might give away the fact that tears had fallen from them no more than fifteen minutes earlier. He was still trying to breathe through the pain in his chest aswell and knew well the pain was etched on his face. There was a stinging sensation on his arm and he had a sinking feeling that he had cut it when he fell. As if that wasn't bad enough he was starting to feel nauseous aswell. Dear God . No! Steve thought. He'd already suffered the humiliation of throwing up in front of Mike once today. Surely it wasn't going to happen again. Sensing that Steve was avoiding looking at him he said in his Lieutenant's voice.

"Steve...buddy boy...Look at me now. Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself? I want the truth now ."

Knowing he couldn't avoid Mike's glare for long he looked at Mike for an instant and then looked down at the floor as he spoke...

" I'm ok Mike, I just got up too fast that's all " he lied and immediately regretted it as another quick glance revealed that Mike wasn't buying it for an instant.

Mike was very observant, one of the many traits that made him the excellent detective he was and while Steve had only looked at him for a split second, Mike caught the tell-tale signs of reddened eyes and a pained expression on his face. The boy looked miserable and he was still trying to pretend everything was fine.

" Steve... Talk to me...I know you're not ok... Come on now...This is me , Mike...Let me help you, will you? " Mike spoke with utter sincerity and hoped Steve would let down his guard just this once and talk to him. It worked! Steve knew that Mike meant well and after all, he could help him get home .

" Ok, Mike.. My chest is sore, and I think I cut my arm when I fell, but it's not that bad... honest. I got out of bed because I wanted to go home. Talk to the doctors for me will you Mike? ... Get me out of here...Please..." Steve pleaded , as the nausea was building by the minute.

" Ok, take it easy now...I'll see what I can do , but first let's have a look at that arm and get you off this floor "

Mike took Steve's left arm and turning it around he could see an oozing cut half way between Steve's wrist and his elbow. It was about two inches long but it seemed deep enough to need stitches and the blood was starting to free flow from it. He reached in to his pocket and put his ever ready clean handkerchief on Steve's arm and held it tight while he put Steve's right arm around his shoulders with the other and proceeded to help him up. However it turned out to be ill-advised as the sudden movement made the overwhelming nausea much worse and Steve groaned at the thought of another embarrassing episode occurring.

"Hold it Mike...put me back down please..." Steve gasped as he fought back the bile rising in his throat . He swallowed hard but soon realized that it was futile . He decided in that moment that it was better to warn Mike than suffer the utter humiliation of throwing up all over himself. " Oh God, Mike, I think I'm gonna be sick."

Mike's concern for his young partner returned tenfold. He eased Steve gently back down to the floor. He could tell by the way Steve was swallowing hard and the green tinge in his face that he didn't have time to call for a nurse so he got up and found a kidney-shaped bowl on the windowsill and hurried back down to Steve who was now in great distress trying to stop himself from being sick.

" Take it easy Buddy boy...just let it happen... Come on now... You'll feel better if you don't fight it...It's ok Steve"

Steve didn't have the strength to fight it anymore and finally was violently sick while Mike rubbed his back and spoke encouraging words. Mike found the bell and summoned the nurse who was horrified when she came running into the room and saw her patient on the floor being sick, his left arm bleeding...

"Oh my God, what happened ?" she asked rushing over to help Mike.

" He tried to get out of bed and fell. He's got a bad cut on his arm. Looks deep enough that it might need stitches. When I found him and tried to pick him up to get him back into bed he said he felt sick ." Mike filled her in on what he knew.

As Steve hadn't had anything to eat since he was sick last it was mostly stomach acid that was coming back and it burned his throat and hurt the protesting muscles in his chest .When he finally finished, Mike and the nurse between them helped him back up on the bed. He lay back with his eyes closed breathing heavily while the nurse fussed over his arm placing a clean dressing on it.

" I'm going to page Doctor Armstrong " the nurse said hurrying out of the room.

Mike kept a close eye on Steve for the next few minutes . In the three years that he had known Steve, he had never seen him so fragile...What happened to you in that alleyway, buddy boy..?..And why wasn't I there to stop it happening...Mike thought to himself as once again he was consumed with guilt and regret.

Steve was starting to feel a little better. Being back lying down felt good. His chest throbbed a little and his arm was stinging like hell but those type of things he could handle. The worst part was the embarrassment of showing weakness in front of his mentor again! He kept his eyes shut tight. He couldn't face looking at Mike right now. His emotions were all over the place and they threatened to embarrass him further without warning . He had to get a handle on them but this was so new to him. He could feel the lump in his throat returning and fought it back swallowing hard. He finally regained his composure and opened his eyes to see Mike's worried face studying him intently . It always felt to Steve as if those piercing blue eyes could almost look into a person's soul and it never ceased to amaze him how good Mike was at reading people's thoughts . Many times while working together they could convey how they were both feeling or thinking with just a glance between them. They had grown to know each other that well. Finally it was Mike who broke the silence between them.

"So you want to get out of here buddy boy. Eh? ...Well let's see if we can make that happen. Ok? I can't see the doctor letting you back to your apartment on your own but what if I can persuade him to let you stay in my spare room tonight. Would you be ok with that? "

Steve seemed to think about that for a second or two. He would rather be in his own place alone at the minute the way his feelings were constantly betraying him but He knew Mike was right. The doctor would never agree to that and at least this way he had a chance to get out of here. Hopefully,once he was back in familiar surroundings he'd be able to get a handle on whatever was causing this new-found and unwelcome vulnerability .

"Yeah, sure Mike...You think you can make that happen ?"

" Are you kidding me ? Haven't you seen me in action before ? How many times have I bailed you out of here ? I'll have you out of here within the hour, buddy boy. I'll just turn on the old Mike Stone charm...Never fails!..." Mike kept his tone light-hearted on purpose and when he was rewarded with a wry smile from Steve he knew it had worked. It was good to see the kid smiling again.

The next half hour passed quickly as the doctor arrived and set about examining Steve. After a stern lecture about getting out of bed unassisted under the effects of a mild sedative and eight stitches to his arm later, Mike had used his charm to convince Doctor Armstrong to release Steve into his care. Mike then arranged for Inspector Martin to go to Steve's apartment and pick up some spare clothes and toiletries for Steve and after another half hour passed they were delivered as requested to Steve's room. He had needed a new set of clothes as the ones he had come in were destroyed with blood.

Mike also duly noted that Steve had perked up a bit now that he knew he was getting out of the hospital.

" You get dressed buddy boy and I'll just go sign your release papers and then we'll get you out of here. Ok?"

"Ok...and...Thanks Mike... for everything..." Steve said feeling slightly awkward at the amount of trouble he'd caused the older detective today.

Mike just nodded and smiled at Steve in response and headed down to where the doctor was waiting. He gave Mike some pills for Steve..one bottle was to help him sleep if needed or if the nightmares came that the doctor predicted would, one was a pain reliever for his sore chest and the cut on his arm and the other ones were anti-sickness pills that Mike was to give him if he became nauseous again. The amount of times Steve had been sick concerned the doctor as he couldn't find a physical reason for it. He had come to the medical conclusion that Steve's nausea was directly linked to whatever emotional upset he had suffered earlier . An appointment was made to remove Steve's stitches in five days time and Mike was instructed to change the dressing daily to avoid infection. Again he was advised to encourage Steve to see the Department psychiatrist and finally the appropriate papers were signed. Steve was free to go. The doctor accompanied Mike back down to Steve's room to give him the good news and after Steve had thanked the Doctor and said his goodbyes it wasn't long before they were on their way .

As they left the room and headed down the corridor to the elevator Steve spotted Captain Olsen, Haseejian, and Martin down in the waiting area and subconsciously stopped in his tracks. He had hoped that he could slip out quietly without having to interact with anyone from the station but it looked like that was inevitable. The one thing Steve hated more anything was fuss! He sighed and then regretted it as he came out of his thoughts and realized Mike had observed him closely. Mike had seen Steve stop and followed his gaze to where the others were gathered. Having heard Steve's sigh Mike put his hand on Steve's arm.

"Do you want to take the stairs Buddy boy? "

Steve turned to Mike and smiled at the way for the second time today he had practically read his thoughts.

"No, it's ok Mike, the elevator's fine..." he answered realizing that he would have to face the guys sooner rather than later but nodded at Mike to show he appreciated the understanding and the suggestion.

"You sure ?" Mike asked not wanting to stress Steve any further this evening especially as he was showing signs of improvement from earlier.

"Yeah, it's ok Mike" Steve reassured him and continued down the corridor with Mike bringing up the rear.

The Captain saw them coming first and came towards Steve and shook his hand..." Steve, good to see you up and around. Mike told me they were going to spring you this evening. Glad to be getting out I bet ?"

" I don't know about that Captain," Steve said more jovially than he felt and nodding in Mike's direction said " Think I might be under house arrest now ."

"Hey, hey...watch it buddy boy or I might just do that..." Mike replied , playfully swatting at Steve which raised a smile from all the men gathered who were so used to Mike and Steve's playful and teasing interactions.

When the moment passed, Steve asked more seriously..." What's the latest on Harris and Lee ?

"Lee is hanging in there,Steve, thanks to you. The doctors are pleased with how he's doing and Harris is going to be alright."

"That's good news. What about the shooter? Any sign of him yet?"

" No, Steve, I'm afraid not but he can't get far.. We'll get him. You go home and get some rest Steve. You've earned it ! "

Mike intervened then. " I'll bring Steve down to the office tomorrow Captain to give his official statement and type his report. It's been a really long day so it's time we got going. See you all tomorrow "

"Ok, Mike. No hurry. See you both then "

Inspectors Haseejian and Martin patted Steve on the back and said their good nights too and Steve thanked Martin for getting his things and soon they were in the elevator.

Mike kept a close eye on Steve all the time. He had seen right through Steve's "I'm ok" act with the Captain but at the same time admired the way he had pulled it off. Only for the fact that he knew Steve as well as he did he would have fallen for it too. No, Mike's gut instinct told him that there was worse to come for Steve before things got better but this was one time when Mike hoped that he was wrong!


	10. Chapter 10

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 10

Steve and Mike took the elevator to the ground floor and walked across the Hospital lobby. Mike had ordered a taxi to take them back to Mike's and went on ahead to make sure it was waiting outside. As Steve was following, an office door clicked shut beside him...The sound made Steve stop where he stood... He closed his eyes as a picture of a balaclava clad face came into his mind. Just a flash of a memory...enough to start him feeling anxious again . He shut his eyes trying to get the memory back but nothing came... Damn it! What's the matter with you Steve.. he scolded himself.

Finding the taxi waiting outside, Mike became anxious when Steve never appeared through the double doors. Asking the cab driver to hold on a minute he ran back up the Hospital steps and when he entered the lobby he saw Steve a short distance away and instantly feared the worst. He was standing still and looked a million miles away... He raced across the lobby to where Steve was..

"Steve. What's the matter buddy boy? Talk to me now...Are you ok ? Steve! "

Hearing Mike's voice brought him back to the present and he realized in that instant that he had some explaining to do.

" I heard a noise and a memory flashed in my head. I tried to see it clearly but it went as quick as it came." Seeing Mike's worried face made Steve suddenly aware of how crazy that just sounded so he shrugged it off. "Boy, I guess I must be really tired, now I'm hearing things.. Eh Mike? Is the taxi outside? " And with those words he headed off outside leaving Mike following behind, anxiously staring after Steve and making a mental note to ring Lenny, the first chance he got !

The drive back to Mike's in the back of the taxi was taken in silence. Both men were now truly exhausted and one of the best parts of their friendship was that they never felt the need to make idle small talk when it wasn't necessary. After paying the taxi fare and retrieving Steve's bag they made their way up the many steps to Mike's house. Steve tackled the steps a little slower than Mike due to his bruised ribs but eventually they entered Mike's living room.

Stepping into his house felt good to Mike. It had almost been literally days since he was home last and it did his heart good to be back in familiar surroundings. He ushered Steve in and taking his jacket and his own went and hung them up alongside his fedora. Then returning to Steve, he clapped his hands together, the glee on his face making it quite obvious he was delighted to be home.

" Now Steve, make yourself at home. You know where everything is . Just remember while you're staying here ,Mi casa es tu casa." Mike gesticulated the phrase with open arms.

Steve smiled at Mike's Spanish phrase and appreciated its meaning. He wagged a finger at Mike " My house is your house ...I'm impressed Mike... I thought you didn't speak Spanish..."

" I don't buddy boy. I heard that one on tv..." Mike said laughing and then noticing how exhausted Steve looked he added "Why don't you sit down before you fall down" and taking Steve's bag from him and putting it down he grabbed Steve by the elbow gently, guided him over to the couch and put him sitting down. "Now you sit down there and take it easy and I'll go make us a sandwich. Then I'll make up the bed in the spare room for you and we'll get some well overdue shut-eye. Sound good ?"

" No, Mike don't make up the spare room, I'll sleep on the couch if that's ok. It's fine and no sandwich for me thanks, all I need right now is some sleep." Steve said trying to stop himself from yawning but failing miserably.

" Sure ,you can sleep on the couch if you want to but you have to try to eat something Steve. You haven't eaten anything for a long time. Besides don't you know I make the best BLT sandwich ever? What do you say buddy boy ?"

Steve really wasn't hungry in fact since his purge earlier his stomach was still quite upset and his chest and the cut on his arm were starting to hurt like hell but he didn't want to offend Mike's hospitality either. He was trying to decide what he should say but the long pause and the pain etched on his face was noticed by Mike who spoke before Steve had a chance to answer.

" Still queasy huh? And I'll bet that cut is starting to smart about now too!"

" Yeah, kind of..." Steve replied and at the same time cursed himself for not just saying yes to the sandwich instead of alerting Mike to how lousy he was feeling. Instead of saying anything further Mike disappeared out to where his coat was hanging up and rummaged in his pocket. He then came back and went into the kitchen and Steve's curiosity was even further heightened when he heard the tap running. What was Mike doing? He thought to himself.

Mike then reappeared holding a glass of water and heading straight for Steve like a man on a mission, held out two small white pills, two blue pills and the glass to Steve.

" Down the hatch buddy boy! They're anti sickness pills and pain killers the Doctor gave me for you. I think you need to take them."

" Mike... no I..." Steve was just about to protest when glancing up he saw Mike's steely glare and realized that resistance was futile when Mike glared at him like that . So he dutifully took the four pills and swallowed them down with some water.

" Well now, that wasn't so bad was it ? " Mike said his smile returning." I'll just go and make us those sandwiches ." And with that he took the glass back and headed for the kitchen. When he entered the kitchen he allowed himself a broad grin. That glare worked on Steve every time! He then set about making them both some food. His next mission was to try to get the boy to eat something !

Steve watched Mike enter the kitchen. He knew Mike meant well but the thought of having to eat anything right now was enough to start his stomach churning. He also knew Mike wouldn't take no for an answer! He decided to worry about that when the food arrived. In the meantime he just felt so damn tired. He took off his shoes and lay down on the couch using one of the cushions as a pillow.

As he lay there resting his eye was drawn to a picture frame that was on the sideboard. It was a photo of Jeannie. It looked like a recent picture and Steve wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. She was smiling that special smile of hers and in that moment Steve wished that she was there with them. She always had a way of making you feel better and her smile was infectious. It had been a while now since she had managed to get home from college and Steve knew from their daily interactions that Mike had been missing her too.

As he lay there his mind rambling , his eyelids started to feel heavy. The pain killers had started to kick in and the pain in his chest and his arm had been reduced to just a dull ache and if he wasn't mistaken the nausea was easing too. He tried to keep his eyes from closing as he heard Mike working in the kitchen but right now they seemed to have a mind of their own and within seconds Steve had fallen asleep little knowing in that sleep, what dreams might come.

Mike made the sandwiches quite quickly and then thought to himself...

That was the easy part, the hard part will be getting Steve to eat them! He picked up the two plates and headed back into Steve.

" I hope those sickness pills have kicked in buddy boy because wait until you taste these Mike Stone specials..."

Just as he had said the words, Mike looked up and saw Steve fast asleep... For a split second he wondered if Steve was pretending to be asleep to avoid eating something. Going over to the couch Mike called him softly and very gently shook Steve's shoulder but Steve never even stirred so Mike came to realize that the boy really was out for the count. For his own piece of mind Mike took Steve's pulse and was pleased to find him relaxed and peaceful. His breathing was relaxed too. As Steve was so deeply asleep Mike took the opportunity to take a glance at the dressing on Steve's arm. There was no oozing or fresh blood so Mike was satisfied that it was ok . Looking at Steve now he looked pale and haggard compared to his usual fresh-faced appearance. Mike thought about what he had been through today and shuddered at the thought but at the same time he was proud of his partner. Proud of how he had handled himself and very proud of how he had saved Lee. Right now he needs the rest, Mike contemplated, I'll get him to eat something tomorrow. "Don't think you've got off that easy, buddy boy !"

Mike went and covered up Steve's sandwich so he could have it later and went upstairs and returned with a blanket which he carefully placed over Steve. He then sat down and ate his own sandwich not realizing how hungry he had been, until he started to eat and washed it down with a cold glass of milk. All the while he had eaten, Steve hadn't stirred once. Mike suddenly began to feel really tired . Mike found in recent years as he got older that he didn't really need as much sleep as he used to but the last forty-eight hours had taken their toll on the older detective. Adrenaline had kept him going but even that was depleted at this stage. He thought about going to his nice soft bed but part of him was afraid to leave Steve incase he needed him during the night. His protectiveness towards Steve won out in the end and getting himself a pillow and a blanket, he turned out the lights leaving a small table lamp on and settled on the recliner as comfortably as he could where he could keep an eye on his young partner.

He glanced over at Steve who still hadn't moved a muscle. He looked over at the picture of his late wife Helen, something that had become a familiar habit every night before he went to bed since she passed away. He marvelled at her smile that could always light up any room she walked into. Then he glanced at the picture of Jeannie on the sideboard. Maybe he should have called her...he thought. But he knew she was very busy at college and after all neither him nor Steve had been seriously hurt, thank God. No, better not to worry her until he had to, he decided. And with Helen and Jeannie's smiling faces in his mind it didn't take long for the exhaustion to take over and soon Mike was sound asleep too.

For the next four hours there was a settled peace over the Stone residence as both men slept soundly. The only thing to be heard over that time was the sound of the ticking clock, Mike's gentle snoring and Steve's peaceful breathing. But unfortunately ,as fate would have it, that was all about to change...


	11. Chapter 11

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 11

Steve was dreaming of Jeannie, probably as her picture was the last thing he had seen before he fell asleep. He was in the park with her and they were walking and holding hands. Steve felt happy and safe. The sun was shining and Jeannie was smiling. Everything was perfect, Steve thought until suddenly as often happens in dreams things began to change...

The sun disappeared behind a cloud and it got dark. The park scenery faded and without warning Steve was now standing in an alleyway. As he turned to see where Jeannie went he realized that she was gone and instead of Jeannie's soft warm hand he was holding the cold,hard metal of his gun. Steve started to become anxious and fear gripped his very soul . The alley looked familiar to him but not in a pleasant way ,in a foreboding way. He hoped that he was dreaming but his mind was foggy and he wasn't sure. His instinct was to get out of there as fast as he could and stepping back his foot hit something soft. He was almost afraid to see what it was but glancing behind him he saw bodies on top of each other..lifeless eyes stared up at him and blood flowed from them under his feet. He recoiled in horror at the sight of it and almost gagged as bile rose in his throat. What the hell was happening ? If this is a dream you better wake up Steve he told himself but try as he did no consciousness came and the grim realization hit him that he was stuck in this living nightmare! He thought he heard a voice calling him..."Steve...Steve! " It was Mike's voice but he couldn't see him.

" Mike!... Help me! Mike...Where are you?" Just then something grabbed at his leg and as he looked down he saw Lee Lessing clutching at him." Why did you let this happen" Lee was saying. Lee's chest was covered in blood and Steve gagged again. " Lee I tried to warn you ! " Next thing something knocked him backwards and when he opened his eyes again he saw the gunman pointing his gun at him... "NO ..! he screamed. God he didn't want to die..." Again he swore he heard Mike calling him but again he couldn't see him... " MIKE! Help me!" he yelled again but the gunman just laughed... He heard the hammer pulled back... Oh God, Oh God...NOOOOOO!

Mike was dreaming of Jeannie too. They were at their favorite picnic spot in the Golden Gate park. Jeannie had made a lovely picnic lunch. The sun was shining and hot and Jeannie was telling him stories about college. He was relaxed and enjoying his beloved daughter's company when out of nowhere he heard Steve's panicked voice calling for help... He looked around startled but couldn't see him. He thought at first he was hearing things until he heard Steve calling again...The sound grew louder and closer until slowly Mike woke from his dream and looking around he realized, that it had been Steve he had heard as one glance at the couch saw Steve caught in the grip of a nightmare. Oh dear God. No! Even though he was half asleep and slightly stiff from his few hours sleep on the recliner he threw his blanket aside and hurried over to Steve.

Steve was sweating profusely and breathing heavily. He was thrashing his head from side to side and calling for help and for Mike! Mike knew he had to wake him. He grabbed Steve's shoulders and spoke to him loudly...

" Steve!... Steve! Wake up!" But still Steve continued to suffer in torment.

Dear God buddy boy...What happened to you yesterday? He thought as he gently shook Steve's shoulders and shouted again...

" Steve... STEVE! WAKE-UP !"...

In that instant Steve screamed "No " at the top of his voice and jolted awake startling Mike . Mike could see that Steve was disoriented and perhaps not fully aware of where he was. He was breathing so heavily he could barely catch his breath and from the grip on his shoulders that Mike maintained ,he could feel Steve shaking like a leaf..

"Steve, it's alright buddy boy...You're ok! You're at my place. It was just a bad dream. Take it nice and easy now.. Breathe nice and slow...that's it ..." he encouraged and reassured the trembling young man whom he had grown to care for like a son.

Steve looked at Mike and realizing that he had just again shown weakness in front of Mike he looked away embarrassed . He was really struggling to get his breathing back under control and was inwardly trying to come to terms with the memories that had resurfaced in his nightmare.. He could feel his emotions trying to get the better of him. The all too familiar lump in his throat returning and he blinked away the tears that were threatening to come. He swung his legs off the couch and sat upright and leaning forward he put his head in his hands. In that instant he appreciated Mike's comforting presence and he was grateful for the silence ,as Mike waited for him to recover before the questions inevitably came.

Mike could see how bad the nightmare had affected Steve. He was worried for him. He knew Steve wouldn't want to talk about it but Mike knew he had to if he ever wanted to stop them returning. Feeling brave he asked.

"Were they your lost memories Steve ?"...

Steve just nodded. He hoped Mike wouldn't ask anymore questions as he didn't think he would be able to hold it together enough to retell what happened but again Mike probed further.

"Steve, I can see whatever happened to you was painful but you have to talk about it with someone if you want the nightmares to stop. I'm a pretty good listener buddy boy. Or if you don't want to talk about it with me at least talk to Lenny tomorrow."

Steve's breathing had improved but he was still frazzled and shaking. He knew Mike was right . He'd have to tell someone about it. He didn't want to have to go to through that every night... So taking a deep breath he brushed a hand through his hair and spoke...

"I should have died Mike..."

This statement alarmed Mike who immediately replied.

"Now, now Steve. You mustn't say that. We all feel guilty when a fellow officer takes a hit and we walk away but you did all you could..." Realizing that Mike misunderstood him he interrupted Mike's reply.

"No Mike... you don't understand ... When I was kicked and I fell backwards in the alley he came out after me and kicked the gun from my hand. He pointed his gun at my head and he fired Mike! Not once but twice... His gun jammed and...and ... he laughed! I thought..." The lump in Steve's throat seemed to enlarge and he had to swallow hard to continue... "I thought I was a goner Mike..." Steve's voice started to break and despite trying as hard as he could to stay in control, a solitary tear escaped from his left eye..." He quickly wiped at it with the back of his hand and hoped that Mike hadn't noticed...

Mike had noticed...He placed his hand on Steve's shoulder and squeezed it in a show of sympathy and support..But he didn't speak right away...He was stunned at hearing of the horror Steve had endured and his heart broke for the young man. No wonder you were in shock buddy boy he thought to himself. He also couldn't help but get a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach when he thought of what the outcome would have been had that gun not jammed!... He thanked God in that instant for saving his partner. The feelings that consumed him then were guilt for not being there to back him up and anger at the shooter that put Steve through all that.. Oh, if he could get his hands on him now he'd be laughing on the other side of his face!...

Mike could feel that Steve was still shaking and the way he wouldn't look at Mike made him think that he was still visibly upset.. He had to help him somehow so he searched in his memory banks for anything useful he could relay to Steve that might be of some help. All at once he remembered a story from his time as a rookie that hopefully might help Steve as it had helped him in the past... He squeezed Steve's shoulder again and spoke softly...

" Listen Steve, Nobody should ever have to go through what you did yesterday. But unfortunately near misses are part and parcel of what we do.. Bullets that narrowly miss us , high-speed car chases and in this case guns that jam... When I was a rookie detective not much longer on the force than you are now, I was involved in a shootout where a bullet narrowly missed me. My Captain then was a Captain O'Brien. He was a wise old codger ...I was pretty shook up and he called me in to talk with him. What he told me that day has helped me ever since and it might just help you too,buddy boy."

Steve up to this hadn't looked at Mike. He hadn't been able to stop tears from falling and didn't want Mike to see him so fragile but at Mike's last words he turned and half glanced at Mike interested in anything that could help him right now...

" He told me that day that we all have an angel on our shoulder..."

" Aw Mike...come on!.." Steve protested, disappointed that the story he thought was going to help him, revolved around fantasy and make-believe...!

" Now, hang on , hotshot. Please...Let me finish... He told me that in this job when our time is up there's nothing we can do about it but when it's not our time our angel protects us. Now we can dwell on the trauma of it all and end up not functioning the way we should or we can do one simple thing. We can thank our angel ,put it behind us and move on. It always helps me...maybe you should try it buddy boy ? "

" Just like that huh? I don't know Mike... I just don't know if that's going to work for me...Mike, your belief in angels is a lot stronger than mine.." Steve said brushing his hand nervously through his hair again and then rubbing the back of his neck. After a few moments more of silence Mike spoke again.

" Steve, promise me you'll go talk to Lenny tomorrow after you hand in your report..Will you buddy boy? "

" Mike all that head stuff doesn't work for me...I mean Lenny's alright you know...but this...this has..." Steve was finding it hard to talk like this to Mike. He wasn't used to playing the victim and he didn't like it one bit... He hated his feelings being on show like this and the feeling of losing control...

It just wasn't in his nature. He always concealed his feelings, dealt with them himself. Never let anyone know... That was Steve's defence mechanism ...until now...

Mike sensed that Steve was struggling... He had to get him to open up...

" This has what Steve?..." he asked quietly..." Come on now...out with it... Please, buddy boy. Talk to me..."

As he struggled to get up the courage to talk to Mike, he glanced up and the sight of the recliner with a pillow on it and a blanket discarded beside it made him realize that Mike had slept there watching over him... In his current emotional state he was deeply touched by Mike's bedside vigil as it were and he thought to himself who needs an angel on your shoulder when you have a friend like Mike Stone... The fact that Mike had stayed with him through all this and was so visibly concerned for him made him realize that he owed it to Mike to tell him what was going on with him. At the very least he had to try!...


	12. Chapter 12

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 12

Finding just a little courage from Mike's support, Steve turned to face Mike not even trying to hide his tear-stained face. He took a deep breath and swallowed back the ever-present lump in his throat and began...

" This has knocked me for six, Mike. It's all hanging out, this little thing called my life. A little over twelve hours ago everything was fine and now I'm reduced to this..." With those words he held up his two shaking hands.

" Twelve hours ago I was looking forward to a nights sleep now I dread going to sleep...I feel sick all the time, I can't eat and most of all I hate being like this with...with..." Swallowing hard again and breaking eye contact with Mike he finished his sentence " with you.!"

"What do you mean with me?"..Mike asked needing Steve to clarify what he meant by that.

" Well Mike, you've been my partner for over three years now and I've learned so much from you . I look up to you and I don't want to let you down . I don't want to be ... " Steve's courage was waning again. He felt tears begin to form again but he blinked them back and continued..." a disappointment to you."

Mike studied Steve. He could see him getting upset and he hated seeing him this way. Doesn't he know he could never disappoint me...Mike thought and for the first time since they'd met he saw a new side to Steve, vulnerable and insecure.

" Now why on earth do you think you've let me down ,Steve? he asked.

" Because I blew it Mike, I didn't react quick enough to stop Lee getting hurt. I let the second shooter take me down and relieve me of my gun. I could have been killed because of my carelessness and then when I was given a chance to redeem myself I let him get away!... I really... messed up..." A solitary tear again trailed down Steve's face but before he could wipe it away, Mike did and grabbing the back of Steve's neck as he had many times before in their working relationship he looked into Steve's eyes as he spoke.

"Now you listen to me buddy boy...You have never disappointed me. Do you hear me? You didn't mess up anything! You seem to forget that going into that alleyway you hadn't slept for over twenty-three hours! Of course your reactions were slower than normal... You were out on your feet! Yet you still managed to take down the first shooter. Ok, so you let the second shooter get the drop on you and you let him get away...Anyone who had just had a gun pointed in their face would have done the same thing. Yet you still managed to pull yourself together, chase him and hit him! And you seem to be forgetting that the only reason Lee is fighting for his life in that ICU is because you gave him that chance! Me and Norm thought he was gone but you wouldn't give up...So no Steve, I'm not disappointed in you... I'm PROUD of you and you should be too!" With that he let go of the back of Steve's neck and instead looked Steve straight in the eye .Mike's words had come out a bit more forcibly than he had intended and realizing it he softened his tone again and continued .

" You think you're the only cop who let his feelings get the better of him, huh? Don't you remember how I was when my friend Gus Charnovski was shot and killed or when that madman Leonard Cord threatened Jeannie? You were there for me then and you got me back on track well now it's my turn to repay the favour buddy boy! Here's what we're going to do... We're going to try to get back to sleep. In the morning we'll get some breakfast and go down to the Bureau. You can type up your report and then you're going to go talk to Lenny. Afterwards we'll come back here and we'll take it from there. Ok Steve? "

Throughout Mike's whole speech, Steve remained quiet. Mainly because he didn't trust his wavering voice to be able to speak. Mike was proud of him!

Although he was listening to everything Mike said they were the words that were now echoing around his head. They were the words that helped him regain some composure and when Mike recited their plan of action he felt grateful that Mike was taking charge of things . He was a mess and he knew it. He needed Mike to tell him what to do now, to make things ok again. His chest hurt and he found himself subconsciously holding it and his arm was stinging like crazy...He just felt lousy.. He didn't want to go back to sleep... He didn't want to end up trapped in the torment of that alley again...

" Ok Mike... but I don't know if I want to go back to sleep just yet..." he ventured afraid that the nightmares would return. "Oh and Mike..." He paused before continuing "... my chest and my arm are killing me! " He decided he had better say something about them because he was starting to realize that keeping things like that from Mike was futile. He always managed to wrangle the truth out of him eventually anyway...

The last statement sent Mike into full Mother Hen mode. He took Steve's arm and pulling up his sleeve he checked the dressing which was now oozing fresh blood...Fetching his First Aid box he carefully peeled the dressing back from the cut...

"Easy, easy Mike..."

The good news was that the stitches were intact. There was just a bit of fresh blood oozing from it. Taking the antiseptic he carefully cleaned the cut, all the time watching Steve who was wincing and groaning as the antiseptic stung! Finally with a clean dressing in place and after bandaging the arm Mike once more headed to the kitchen. He returned with an icepack which he instructed Steve to place on his bruised chest...

" Ooh that's cold Mike..." Steve gasped as the ice touched his skin...

" Well it's meant to be buddy boy..." Mike said smiling..."It'll help take the pain out of that bruising..."

He headed one last time to the kitchen and returned once more with two blue pills,one red pill and another glass of water. Holding them out to Steve he spoke.

" The doctor gave me something to give you to help you get back to sleep if you had nightmares. He predicted that you would have. And you could use more painkillers for that chest and arm.. Come on now..Take them will you?"

When Steve saw Mike coming with the pills again he groaned again...

" Aw Mike... I hate taking them ,you know that.. What if I take them and can't wake up from ... from the nightmares?"

Mike said softly " You trust me don't you? Take the pills will you buddy boy?"

Steve trusted Mike more than anyone so taking the pills he swallowed them back.

" Ok, now lay back..." Mike instructed ,swinging Steve's legs back up on the couch and tucking his blanket back around him.. He stayed talking to Steve until the fast acting pills kicked in. He saw Steve getting drowsy and within minutes his eyelids had closed and he was in a deep sleep. Satisfied that he would sleep for another few hours he glanced at the clock which showed that it was almost five am and returning to his recliner he settled down again and thought about what the next day had in store for them... Good things, he hoped for a welcome change and with that thought he drifted off back to sleep too...


	13. Chapter 13

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 13

Mike got up at around eight am while Steve was still fast asleep. He was grateful that the young man had slept soundly and there had been no more nightmares. Mike checked Steve's arm and there was no fresh blood thankfully. He also removed the ice pack and winced when he saw the bruising on the young man's chest. Steve hadn't even stirred while Mike examined his chest and arm and was still well under the effects of the sleeping pill.

Mike decided to go and have his shower while Steve was still sleeping peacefully and was, showered ,shaved and dressed before eight thirty. He decided to leave making breakfast until Steve woke up and instead sat down in the recliner to read his newspaper while all the time throwing an occasional glance over to make sure Steve was still ok. At around nine am the telephone rang and Mike picked it up quickly in case it woke Steve. It was Lenny Murchison, the department psychiatrist . The Captain had filled him in on what had happened the day before and he was ringing to check how Steve was . Mike spent the next half hour telling Lenny about the restless night they had endured and the nightmares that Steve had suffered. He told him about the sleeping pill that he had given Steve and told him that he was still out for the count. He asked Lenny if he would be able to see Steve later that day and an appointment was made for three o'clock. Then saying their goodbyes and hanging up, Mike returned to his newspaper.

It was just before ten am when he thought he heard Steve stir and he put down his newspaper to see Steve coming around. Opening his eyes it took Steve a few minutes to get his bearings and remember where he was. Then looking around he saw Mike sitting opposite him with a broad smile on his face.

"Well, good morning buddy boy! Boy, I tell you, that pill you took certainly worked. You've been out for the count for the last five hours straight. How are you feeling ?"

" Morning Mike...yeah I'm ok..." Steve said still sleepily. Truth was his head felt like it was made of lead and as he swung his legs around and attempted to sit up a wave of dizziness hit him and he closed his eyes tight so he wouldn't see the room that was now spinning in an alarming fashion . Mike saw Steve's reaction and hurried over to him and steadying him with both hands on his shoulders he spoke.

" Whoa now, take it nice and slow..Lenny called this morning and he said that pill you took was very strong and the after effects might be a touch of dizziness...He said you might want to move slowly for a while until the effects of it fully wear off. Look at me now. You ok ?"

Steve opened his eyes and thankfully the room had stopped spinning.

"Yeah, I'm fine...What time is it?"

"A little after ten.." Mike replied still studying Steve to see if his "I'm fine" was a truthful one. " Tell you what hotshot, why don't you go and have a shower and clean up if you're feeling up to it. Might make you feel better! And maybe a shave wouldn't go amiss either. You're starting to get a five o' clock shadow, my friend. Then you can come and eat some breakfast before we head down to the office. Ok?"

"Yeah, a shower would be nice... Ok Mike..."

Steve got up slowly and taking up his bag made his way off to have a shower. Mike gave him a strip of plastic to cover his arm with so as not to aggravate the cut any further. As Steve looked in the bathroom mirror he got a shock. He looked like death warmed up. Mike was right, he badly needed a shave as he felt the stubble starting to appear around his chin and if he wasn't mistaken he had black circles under his eyes. As he took off his shirt he caught sight of the multicoloured bruise that had spread over the front of his chest and winced at the sight. He wrapped up his bandaged arm in plastic and less than five minutes later he was standing under the stream of warm water in the shower. He found it soothing and relaxing and stood with his head against the cool tiles as the warm water flowed down his back. Fifteen minutes later Steve was washed, shaved and dressed and actually felt better than he had in a while. Mike was right as always, the shower had done him good.

As he made his way back to the kitchen, Steve was not really looking forward to having to eat something. He knew Mike would insist on him eating and while he wasn't feeling as nauseous as he had the previous day his stomach was still a bit upset. However as he approached the kitchen the smell of freshly cooked pancakes wafted out to him and for the first time since yesterday instead of making him feel sick,they actually made him feel hungry.

As he entered the kitchen, Mike was piling pancakes onto two plates. He looked up as Steve came in.

"Hey, looking good buddy boy... Now sit yourself down and get this inside you . I tell you, buddy boy, you haven't lived until you've tasted Mike Stone's infamous pancakes! "

" They sure smell good Mike...thanks" Steve said sitting down and the rest of the meal passed in companionable silence as the two men enjoyed the pancakes and the fresh hot coffee that accompanied them. Mike had been fearful that Steve's nausea would return at the mention of food but instead was pleasantly surprised to see Steve enjoying the pancakes and noted that since his shower he looked a bit healthier too.

After breakfast , Mike called the hospital to check on Lee and Harris. Harris was doing fine but there was no change in Lee's condition. He was still critical. Mike called a taxi to take them to the bureau as both their cars were still at work since their shift had ended the day before. While they waited for the taxi, Steve helped Mike to wash and dry the breakfast dishes and they were just putting on their coats when they heard the car horn outside announcing the arrival of the taxi.

On the way to the office Mike made small talk with the taxi driver about the 49ers and the weather but he noticed that Steve had gone very quiet. He was staring out his window and was not participating in any conversation. Mike began to worry again. He had hoped the return of his appetite was a good sign that Steve was coming back to himself but seeing his faraway look now made Mike realise that he still had demons to face. He prayed that Lenny would be able to help him talk it out.

They arrived at the office after a short while and having paid the taxi driver they made their way inside and up to the bullpen. As they walked in they noticed there were a number of detectives that they had never seen before and figured they must be the reinforcements that had been drafted in to ease the staffing shortage caused by yesterday's incident. The only familiar faces they saw were Inspector Jim Martin and Sgt. Dan Healy. Both men greeted them and inquired how Steve was doing.

"I'm fine, thanks! " Steve said as he walked to his desk, took off his jacket,placed it on the back of his chair and immediately started putting paper in his typewriter ready to type up his report. Mike watched him as he went and exchanged looks with the other two men that silently told them that Steve was not as "fine" as he was making out.

Mike went to his office and hung up his fedora and his coat and checked his desk for any new updates or messages. Looking out at Steve he saw him typing at a furious pace. He came out and went to get himself a cup of coffee, his eyes never leaving Steve. He was going to have to keep a close eye on his young partner.

The next hour went by quickly as Mike caught up on what he had missed since his last shift ended. Sgt. Healy had come into the office and filled him in on the current homicide cases and had given him a list of the new detectives so he could familiarize himself with his new temporary staff. All the time he had watched Steve closely. Steve had spent the last hour typing practically non stop. On one occasion he had stopped and sat staring at his typewriter as if he was struggling so Mike had come out under the pretence of getting another cup of coffee and approaching Steve's desk he had placed a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"You need a hand with that?" he had asked.

"No...I got it Mike..thanks" Steve had replied without even looking around and had returned to his typing with a renewed determination.

When the last words were typed on the report Steve got up to bring it into Mike but spotted that he was on the phone. However Mike saw him and while still talking into the receiver he beckoned Steve to come ahead and gestured for him to sit down. So Steve went in and sat down opposite Mike.

"No problem . Ok. I'll tell him. Alright, thanks. Bye" With those words Mike hung up the phone. Turning to look at Steve he said " That was Lenny. He asked if you could bring a copy of your report with you when you see him later. How's it coming along, buddy boy?"

"Actually it's finished. I was wondering if you could you have a quick read of it for me before I hand it into the Captain?"

" Sure. Let me have a look." Mike took the report, put on his glasses, leaned back in his chair and read the report that Steve had given him while Steve sat in silence waiting for him to finish.

"That seems fine Steve, Everything's there. You did a good job on it. Say, why don't you bring it over to him now and get it out-of-the-way, huh?"

" Ok Mike...I won't be long." Steve said as he headed out of Mike's office and out of the bullpen. He stopped first at the photocopier and made two more copies of it. He needed one for Lenny and he always kept a copy for their own filing cabinet . Then he headed down the corridor toward Captain Olsen's office. Along the way, Steve must have met at least ten people he knew all asking him how he was and if he was ok? In fact it was getting VERY annoying! Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Didn't they realize it was hard enough to get on with things without people constantly fussing over him and asking him the same question over and over again! As he entered the office belonging to Captain Olsen his secretary Mary looked up and smiled at him.

"Hi Steve...good to see you. How are you?" she asked

Not again thought Steve...almost inwardly groaning...

"Fine, thanks Mary. Listen could you please give that into the Captain for me. He's expecting it." he said handing his report out for her to take.

" Oh I'm afraid I can't Steve, Captain Olsen said he wanted to see you when you came by. I'll just see if he's free. Hold on one moment please" and with that she knocked and entered the inner office.

Great, thought Steve. That's all I need! Mary returned a moment later.

"Yes, he'll see you now Steve. Go on in"

Steve went in and at once Captain Olsen stood up to greet him and shook his hand.

"Steve! Good to see you...How are you feeling? "

Steve felt like he was about to explode but instead he answered as calmly as the growing anger inside him would let him...

"Fine, Sir. Here is my report."

" Thanks, Steve. Take a seat while I read quickly through it. I won't be a minute."

Steve had hoped that the Captain would read it in his own time but now he had to sit and wait uncomfortably while Olsen read every detail of what had happened yesterday. Every so often while reading Olsen would glance up at Steve and study him embarrassingly for a few seconds before returning to the report. Steve began to wish that the ground would open up and swallow him. As he finished the report and put it down on his desk and slowly looked up at Steve, Steve felt his stomach churn.

"Well, Steve... That's some report...I see you got your memory back..I don't know what to say except to say that I'm sorry you had to go through that... You know Steve, I hope you're aware that in cases like this you know I have to recommend that you go see Lenny Murchison for a couple of visits. It will be up to Lenny to clear you for active duty I'm afraid. I hope you understand that's standard procedure in cases like this."

"Yes, I'm aware of that Captain. I'm seeing Lenny at three o'clock ."

Relieved that Steve was taking the news so well he continued...

"I'm sure it will be all fairly routine stuff, Steve. You know you did a real fine job yesterday for what it's worth. I'll be praising you to the Chief when I speak to him later..."

"Thanks Sir...I appreciate that. Are we finished now Sir? " Steve asked. All he wanted to do now was get out of there. He was getting more ticked off by the minute...He knew he had to see Lenny but he wasn't aware that Lenny had to clear him for active duty...! God...how worse could things get he thought...

" Just one more thing before you leave...You know years ago we had a Captain by the name of O'Brien. He was a real character. He told me a story once that has always helped me and you might find it useful Keller..."

Oh no! Steve thought. He could feel a déjà vu moment coming on. Not the angel story please... he prayed ,his patience wearing very thin. But his prayers weren't answered as the Captain relayed the angel on your shoulder story to him all over again. He could feel himself getting more and more frustrated ,like a tightly wound up spring. He was only half listening to the story but he nodded and forced a smile in the right places enough to fool the Captain into thinking that he was... Inwardly he was screaming...Please, get me out of here!

Finally his torture ended and after another few snippets of advice thrown in by the Captain he was allowed to return to the bullpen. After goodbyes were said Steve headed back down the corridor and much to his horror met more people who inquired how he was doing along the way. He repeatedly told them over and over again that he was fine and by the time he got back to his desk he could almost feel steam coming out of his ears , his cheeks flushed with pure anger. Mike saw him return and knew by the way he walked determinedly to his desk and the flushed appearance that something had happened to get him hot under the collar. It was a look he had seen in Steve a couple of times before but not often thankfully. Unfortunately for him , Inspector Bill Tanner chose that precise moment to walk into the office and seeing Steve for the first time since yesterday asked the question that would finally send his rage to boiling point.

"Steve! Hey man ,good to see you...How are you feeling?"

Poor Steve couldn't stand it any longer and turning around he yelled at the top of his voice...

"I'M FINE ! Did everyone hear that? And I would really appreciate it if people would stop asking me because I'M FINE !"

As soon as the words left his mouth Steve regretted them. Such an outburst was very rare for the usual calm and collected Steve Keller so everyone had stopped what they were doing and were now staring at him as if he had three heads. He quickly turned around and sat down at his desk. Oh God Steve what did you do that for? he reproached himself. He ran a hand through his hair as he could almost feel all the eyes burning into him and the silence was palpable.

Mike heard the outburst and saw the situation unfold from his office and immediately knew that Steve needed rescuing and fast. Getting up he grabbed his coat and hat and headed straight for Steve . Then grabbing the young man's jacket off the back of his chair he gripped Steve by the elbow pulled him up and guided him through the office and out into the corridor beyond.

"Come on...Let's get some fresh air... come on buddy boy..."


	14. Chapter 14

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 14

Steve never said anything but allowed Mike to guide him out of the bullpen. As Mike got to the door he noticed that everyone was still watching. Turning around he barked...

"What's the matter? Has crime stopped in this city?..."

Immediately everyone went back to work and the hustle of the office returned except for Bill who caught Mike just as he turned to leave.

"Mike, I didn't mean to upset him ...Tell him I'm sorry will you?"

" I know you didn't Bill, the boy's just a touch fragile at the minute. I'll take him out for a while. Hold the fort for me will you? We won't be too long."

"Sure Mike ..take as long as you need...I'll keep an eye on things here"

"Thanks Bill" Mike said and with that turned to go after Steve.

As Steve left the bullpen he walked down the corridor and about half way down stopped and waited for Mike. He put on his jacket and cursed himself for losing control like that. Where did all that anger come from? You're losing it Steve ! he thought to himself and again the anger seemed to resurface and he banged the wall with his fist..

"Damn it !"

At this stage, Mike had caught up to him and again taking his elbow he said...

"Take it easy now, buddy boy. Come on . Let's take a walk!"

With those words he guided him down the corridor, down the stairs and out into the sunshine. Mike never took his eyes off Steve. He knew Steve was not himself. He had to get him to calm down and tell him what was bugging him. He was very worried about the boy.

Steve could feel Mike watching him and was again both annoyed and embarrassed that Mike had to bail him out of another humiliating situation . He couldn't bring himself to look at Mike so he just kept walking, secretly enjoying the freedom of the open air and the hot sunshine.

"So, talk to me buddy boy. What has you so steamed ?"

"I don't know...I'm sorry Mike... Just everyone kept asking me if I was ok and I guess... I guess..."

" You let it get to you. Huh?" Mike ventured still studying Steve closely..

"Yeah... I guess... It just gets so ANNOYING ...you know?"

" Ok...ok ...You're all heated up...Come on walk it off..." Mike said putting a hand on his shoulder. They walked further down the block. " They mean well you know? They're just concerned about you Steve. Bill felt bad for upsetting you. "

"I know Mike... I was out of line... I'll apologise when we get back...It's just that the more people keep asking are you ok the more you realize that...that..you're not..."

Steve was finally feeling his anger starting to abate. The walk was definitely helping and the tightly wound spring inside felt like it was slowly unwinding. He just felt miserable now instead and the change in his feelings was not lost on Mike who suddenly had an idea and grabbing his elbow again steered him in a different direction.

"Come on hotshot, I know just what you need right now...follow me"

Steve was baffled as to where Mike was taking him and perhaps a bit anxious too. Steve didn't have to wonder too long as they rounded the corner and Mike stopped in front of Gus' doughnut shop/café.

"Aw Mike...I'm really not that hungry..." Steve began to protest but Mike was not taking no for an answer and steered him inside...

"Don't argue with a superior officer...buddy boy... You'll change you're mind when we're inside"

Gus looked up as he saw the two men enter.

"Ah, if it isn't my two favourite customers... What can I get you today?"

Mike spoke before Steve could say anything.

"The boy here's having a really bad day Gus so we'll take two of your finest coffees, cream, sugar the works. I'll have one of those sugared doughnuts and Steve? " He turned to ask which doughnut Steve would like.

"Not for me Mike, coffee's fine."

Aggravated by Steve's lack of enthusiasm he turned back to Gus..

"Don't listen to him...Give him whatever his usual is..."

Gus rubbed his chin and closed one eye as if it helped him to think clearly.

"Ah Steve, I think your favourite one is the plain one with the lemon drizzle icing...Am I right? Eh?"

Steve found himself smiling for the first time in a while and wagging his finger at Gus he said " You're really good ! How do you remember those things?

Mike chimed in then " Ok Gus give him one of those please. Steve, go get us a seat will you?" Steve dutifully obeyed and found a table and two seats near the window. He sat down and got lost in his thoughts as he stared out the window. Outside life was going on as normal. People bustling around, traffic heavy as usual, taxi drivers picking up fares... God he wished his life could go back to normal... He was torn from his thoughts as Mike arrived handing out coffees and doughnuts and sitting down opposite him.

"Get them down you buddy boy... Good for what ails you!"

"Thanks Mike.." Steve took a mouthful of his coffee and it tasted good but he couldn't bring himself to eat the doughnut. He reckoned it must have been a combination of losing his temper and perhaps a bit of anxiety at having to talk to the Captain and Lenny but he was starting to feel slightly nauseous again. He didn't feel like he was going to be sick but he didn't feel like eating either. In fact the more he thought about it he was starting to regret the pile of pancakes he had devoured that morning as they now felt like lead in his stomach.

Steve was again so lost in his own thoughts that he never even noticed that Mike was studying him again. He watched as Steve pushed the doughnut around his plate and noticed that Steve looked slightly green around the gills. He also noticed how he had started holding his cut arm and was subconsciously rubbing it as if it was bothering him. The way he was sitting hunched over and wincing every now and then led him to believe that his chest was bothering him too. Not that Steve would readily admit to any of that without coaxing Mike concluded.

" Not hungry, eh, buddy boy?

"No, not really. Sorry, Mike..."

"That's alright . I'll get a bag off Gus and you can take it with you. You might feel like it later" Mike got up and went up to the counter and came back a few minutes later and having placed Steve's untouched doughnut in the bag he sat down and placed a bottle of water in front of Steve.

Steve looked up confused at Mike..." What's that for?"

" You'll be needing it" he said as in the next move he took Steve's hand and placed four pills in it."

" Mike...No... I don't need those..." Steve protested again about to return the pills to Mike...but again Mike persisted.

"Now listen to me, buddy boy...You've been nursing that arm since you sat down . My bet is it's starting to smart again. You haven't been sitting up straight like you usually do which tells me your chest is hurting you too . You look a little green which tells me you're probably feeling sick again which is why you couldn't eat that doughnut. Now you have to see Lenny this afternoon and knowing you , I think it will be hard enough for you to talk to Lenny without feeling sick or in pain aswell...Come on! You know it makes sense. Take them please..."

Steve had to admit that he was right. His chest was aching and he really hadn't realized how sore his arm had got until Mike drew his attention to it so not wanting to cause another scene he dutifully swallowed back the pills with a mouthful from the water bottle.

Deciding that it was time to change the subject Mike asked his next question.

"So what did the Captain have to say? "

"You wouldn't believe it...He told me the same story you did about Captain O'Brien..." Steve said half smiling..

" Well, he sure was fond of that story...I guess he told a lot of people..." Mike said laughing... " What else did he have to say? "

Steve's smile faded quickly and he stared down at his cup of coffee remembering the Captain's words...

"He told me Lenny has to clear me for active duty..."

" Well, that's just plain crazy! I figured you'd have to go talk to him but that's not necessary. " Mike could see that it was bothering Steve and hated all the "bureaucratic red tape" ( as Mike called it) that came with their job!

"I don't know Mike. The way I've acted lately maybe they're right!" Steve said very despondently as he drained the last of his coffee.

" Now you listen to me buddy boy! The way you're acting is perfectly normal considering what you went through. Is that what had you so steamed earlier?"

"I don't know Mike .You know yesterday I just felt all over the place but today I just felt so..." Steve couldn't quite describe the anger and frustrated way he was feeling.

"Hot under the collar?"... Mike suggested.

"Yeah...I guess" Steve said smiling at Mike's apt phrase." So many people kept asking me if I was ok and then when Bill asked I felt so mad I just wanted to HIT something or someone! "

" Hey, easy tiger..." Mike said smiling "Don't look in my direction..."

That made Steve laugh and for that single moment he looked almost like his old self .

"So you want to hit something eh buddy boy? Come on... I've got another idea ..grab your doughnut and the water and let's go" Mike said getting up and bustling Steve up and out of the café saying their goodbyes to Gus as they went.

"Mike I really should get back... I've got an appointment with Lenny at three, remember?" Steve pleaded not knowing where Mike was taking him this time.

" Oh..stop worrying. It's only two now I'll have you back in plenty of time... Come on ,where's your sense of adventure? " Mike said hustling him along the street.

Before long they came to the Boxing club that Mike and Steve often came to for a good work out in the ring... and finally realising what Mike was thinking of, Steve started to protest again..

"Aw ,Mike no really , we don't need to go in here ..." Steve protested. But Mike once more was not taking no for an answer and he was ushered up the steps inside...

" Come on buddy boy, trust me will you!"

On entering, Mike approached the guy behind the desk.

"Hey Eddie, the boy here is having a bad day, Have you got a bag free for about twenty minutes please?

"Sure, guys take your pick! There's spare gloves over at ringside."

Mike again ushered Steve over to where a punching bag was hanging from the ceiling and threw a boxing glove over to Steve...

" Come on hotshot, you said you wanted to hit something...put that glove on and hit this! Just watch your sore arm though...only use your right arm.."

" Mike, I'm not dressed for this! I'm wearing a shirt and tie for heaven's sake!" Steve complained.. " And I don't think my ribs are up to it ! " he said holding his chest protectively and hoping that Mike would give in and let him go back to the office..

Steve watched Mike think about this new problem and it never ceased to amaze him how you could almost see the cogs and wheels turning in his brain as he figured out a solution. Then Mike's eyes lit up and he smiled...Oh oh! Steve knew in that moment that he would have to go along with what ever new plan Mike had just thought of and he groaned inwardly...

"Wait there a minute buddy boy."

" Aw...Mike ...Let's just go back to the office..." Steve pleaded but his words fell on deaf ears as Mike headed off on a mission.

Steve watched as Mike again went over to Eddie and spoke to him but Steve couldn't make out what they were saying until Eddie nodded and handed him something and returning to where Steve stood Mike handed him a boxing club sweatshirt .

"Here buddy boy. Come on, Let's get you to the changing rooms and you can change into this ..."

Steve thought about complaining again but seeing Mike's face he knew he'd have to go along with Mike's plan whatever that might be. So he went along reluctantly... As he gingerly removed his shirt Eddie appeared and Steve looked at Mike puzzled... Mike was broadly smiling at Steve's confusion ..

" Strap him up will you Eddie. I don't want him hurting those ribs anymore than they already are."

Steve looked at Mike in horror...

"You've gotta be kidding me Mike!"

"Don't worry buddy boy..." Mike said laughing at Steve's horrified expression.."Eddie is the best at what he does..."

Poor Steve had no choice but to stay still while Eddie wrapped up his ribs in strong strapping...

" Hey Eddie...not so tight please...I still have to breathe you know !"

When Eddie finished ,he changed into the sweatshirt and put on the boxing glove.

"Now I know what Tutankhamen felt like !" Steve chided as Mike laughed and ushered him back out to where they had been earlier..

As Mike held the bag and gestured for Steve to hit it Steve hit the bag once but not very hard...

"Oh come on now! You can do better than that now can't you? " Mike teased and stood behind the bag holding it steady...

Steve hit it again a little harder than the last time but still Mike chided...

"I want you to close your eyes and think about the last shooter who got away. I want you to remember him and all he put you through and then I want you to pretend that this bag is him..You hear me? He's the reason you're going through all this now. I want you to hit this bag like you mean it with everything you've got... COME ON buddy boy HIT IT !

Steve closed his eyes for a minute and pictured the balaclava clad shooter in his mind . He saw his piercing green eyes and he felt the rage from earlier resurface. Without any more encouragement from Mike, Steve starting punching the bag with all his strength. He hit it so many times that Mike lost count and when he finished he held onto it panting from the exertion of it.

Mike waited for Steve to catch his breath and then asked...

"Feel good huh?"

Steve had to admit that it had...He didn't feel angry anymore...

" Yeah, thanks Mike. Although it would have felt a lot better if it really was him." Steve said smiling.

Mike laughed..." I'm afraid that's the best I can do for now buddy boy!... Is your chest ok?"

"Yeah, the strapping worked fine..."

" Good,...Now we better get you cleaned up and back to Lenny "

Steve headed for the changing rooms, got cleaned up, removed the strapping carefully and put back on his shirt and tie and on returning to Mike was handing him the sweatshirt..

"You hold on to it for the next time you feel you want to hit something! Ok hotshot?" Mike said slapping him on the back playfully.

The two men laughed and having thanked Eddie headed back out into the sunshine. They walked quietly back to the office and as it was nearly three o'clock Steve decided to head straight up to Lenny Murchison's office. However he'd left the report he had for Lenny on his desk! He didn't really want to face the other detectives in the bullpen just yet and although he knew he'd have to face them sooner rather than later, later sounded good for now. Mike reckoned he was putting off returning to the office for those reasons but decided not to force the issue. Steve had been a good sport allowing Mike to drag him from the doughnut shop to the boxing club without too much complaining so for now he'd leave him be. Mike offered to get it for him and retrieving the said report brought it back to Steve and handed it to the young man who was extremely grateful for the help . Mike knew that the session with Lenny was not going to be easy for his young partner so wishing him luck they parted ways at the top of the staircase as Mike returned to the office and Steve went up one more flight of stairs to where the psychiatrist's office was located.

As Steve walked up the corridor he could feel himself getting nervous...Keep it together Steve.. he told himself.. However half way to Lenny's office Steve lost his nerve and ducked into the mens toilets that he had just passed. Standing in front of the sink, Steve looked into the mirror. " What the hell is the matter with you? "Steve asked his reflection... "It's just Lenny... for god sake... Keep it cool.. you can do this!" He then leaned over and splashed cold water on his face and used a paper towel to dry it. Gathering his wits about him and plucking up whatever courage he could he returned to the corridor and with his hand on the door handle of Lenny's office he braced himself for what he was about to have to face...


	15. Chapter 15

**A Shocking Business**

**AN**:** I know absolutely nothing about psychiatry or counseling and while I did try to research it I didn't find much that was useful to me so I have to admit that the entire therapy session with Lenny is entirely made up and borne from my vivid imagination and while I am pleased with how it turned out I hope that all who read it find it plausible and in tune with the story. I don't claim it to be an exact or indeed a normal depiction of a counselling session... **

Chapter 15

Steve entered Lenny Murchison's outer office at ten past three. His loss of nerve meant that he was ten minutes late a fact that annoyed Steve as he liked to be punctual normally. He approached Lenny's secretary who was busy typing . As Steve came over she looked up smiling.

" Hi Steve, he's been expecting you. I think he was worried you weren't going to show. Just knock and go on in "

"Thanks Alice..." Steve said as he went to Lenny's office door and knocked once.

"Come in!"

As soon as he heard Lenny's muffled invitation he opened the door and went in. Lenny was sitting at his desk.

"Ah Steve! I was beginning to think you were going to stand me up! " Lenny said smiling but also studying Steve with his trained medical eye for Steve's reaction.

"I almost did..." Steve replied honestly and walking over to Lenny handed him his report. "You wanted a copy of this I believe.."

" Yes, thanks. Why don't you take a seat while I have a quick read through it. I won't take long."

Here we go again Steve thought to himself and resigned himself to a seat as Lenny just as the Captain had earlier read through the report. Again just like the Captain, Lenny would stop reading every so often and look up at Steve and Steve felt like he was being analysed . Steve felt really uncomfortable and his mouth suddenly felt bone dry. Seeing a jug of water and glasses on a side table by the window Steve spoke...

"Excuse me Lenny, you mind if I get a glass of water please? " Steve asked pointing at the jug of water.

" No ,not at all. Help yourself Steve." Lenny replied not even looking up from his reading.

Steve was glad of the respite as he went over and poured himself a glass of water and as he drank it he stared out of the window suddenly wishing he was anywhere else right now except here in Lenny's office. Lenny finished reading the report and cleared his throat. It was this sound that dragged Steve back from his thoughts and bringing his glass with him he quickly headed back over to his seat and sat down opposite Lenny.

"Well, Steve. That's quite a report... There's quite a bit of difficult reading in it! "

" You should try living it! " Steve said rather abruptly and then realising how harsh that sounded instantly regretted it.. " Sorry..."

Lenny smiled.. " Don't be sorry. You're absolutely right. It's easy for all of us to just sit and read it as we would a newspaper story or a novel but you had to experience it first hand. I can tell a lot from this report. I know all the facts of what happened but what it can't tell me, Steve is what's going on in that head of yours as a result . That's why you're here Steve. We need to see how you're dealing with it . We need to talk it out and it's on the results of our conversations, the report from the hospital doctor and after talking to Mike that I write my final report to the Captain. You understand that?"

Steve hadn't expected Lenny to talk to Mike.. That part of what Lenny had said had come as a shock. Mike had been with him the most since this had happened... He'd seen him throw up twice, lose his memory, break down, have terrible nightmares and today he had seen him yell at everyone like a man possessed ...Based on Mike's report to Lenny, Steve would never be cleared back for active duty ever again! But Mike wouldn't tell Lenny all the gritty details... Would he? Although, that being said, Mike was a stickler for playing by the rules. Maybe he'd feel compelled to tell Lenny everything that had happened? Maybe he'd reckon it would be best for Steve if he told Lenny the whole sorry story. But no! Mike was very loyal. He'd stick up for Steve and he'd cover his back like always. Or would he? God he was so confused...He could feel a headache coming on! He was so busy worrying that he forgot to answer Lenny's question and coming back to reality saw Lenny watching him closely with a concerned look on his face. Great! ... thought Steve...Now he's really going to think you're a nutjob!..Trying to save face he quickly cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Lenny, I just have a slight headache... yes of course I understand!"

Knowing his little charade wasn't very convincing ,Steve broke eye contact with Lenny and looking down at the floor he brushed a hand through his hair and began to feel very uncomfortable. He suddenly felt very warm and loosened his tie a little and took a drink of water from his glass.

" What did I say that made you so uncomfortable Steve?"

"Nothing...I'm not uncomfortable .. " Steve lied but remembering how good Lenny was at seeing through lies he changed his mind and decided that it was probably better to tell the whole truth regardless of what the outcome would be..." Ok...ok, I just didn't realise you had to talk to Mike..that's all."

" Well he is your boss Steve. Why wouldn't you want me to talk to him?"

Steve again questioned whether it was better to tell Lenny everything or to be economical with the truth but if Mike told him the gory details anyway, what would be the point of him lying so he decided to just get it over with.

" Because... he's... he's seen what a mess I've been for the last twenty-four hours I guess..." Steve admitted with great difficulty still not able to look Lenny in the eye.. There! Steve thought to himself. I said it . There's no going back now...

" What happened over the last twenty-four hours that made you feel you were a mess Steve? " Lenny asked keeping a close eye on how Steve was handling the questioning.

Steve leaned back in his chair and rubbed the back of his neck... How much should he admit to, he wondered. Better to generalize he decided...

"I just haven't been myself ..I guess... reacting to things in a different way than I normally would, getting angry over unimportant things and generally just ... just...feeling out of control..." ...Great Steve, keep talking and you'll spend the rest of your career buried in the records department...he thought to himself...He decided he'd probably said too much already so he took another mouthful of his water and waited for Lenny to say something...

Lenny greatly admired Steve's honesty. It was one of the characteristics of the young man that endeared him to everyone. It was also one of the qualities he reckoned Mike had admired in him too. In all his years in the department in this capacity he had never seen a partnership quite like theirs. Despite the age difference and the different ideas they had when working on a case they were totally in sync with one another. They always seemed to know what the other was thinking and could almost predict what the other was going to do before they did it. It was an amazing thing to witness. One that he had the privilege of observing many times in the past as he worked on many cases with them. Feeling how uncomfortable Steve was with the conversation he decided to put the young man out of his misery...

"Are you worried about whether I will clear you for active duty Steve? "

"Yeah I guess... you could say that..." Steve said...still looking at anything but Lenny...

"Well, let me ease your mind here and now Steve. I can't see any reason why you can't go back on active duty."

That was the last thing he expected him to say.. and finally looking up at Lenny very confused...he ventured...

" Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"Yes, I heard what you said and that's precisely why I can clear you for active duty Steve." Seeing Steve's confused expression he decided he better elaborate ." You see Steve, you've admitted to me that you haven't been yourself since the incident occurred. That tells me that you've accepted that something traumatic happened to you and that you realize that it's affected you badly. That means that you're more than halfway along in your recovery. The people I don't clear for active duty are the ones who come into this office in denial, telling me they're fine and not dealing with what's happened to them. They're the ones that need my help most of all. I think in your case we just have to work on the emotions that triggered you feeling out of control and we'll have you back to yourself in no time."

Steve could barely believe what he had just heard. Here he was thinking he'd just blown any chance of getting back on active duty and his honesty had just had the opposite effect. The more he thought about what Lenny had just said the more it made sense...He felt himself relax a little.

" Wow! I thought you'd chain me to a desk for sure.." Steve said allowing himself a smile...

Lenny smiled back. "Earlier you said you nearly didn't come today. What made you late?"

" I was having a bad morning so Mike took me out for some fresh air. He brought me for a coffee and doughnut and then he brought me to the boxing club so I could take out some of my frustrations on a punching bag..." Steve smiled to himself as he recalled the strange afternoon he'd spent with Mike.." You know he's almost as good at the head work as you are ! "

Lenny smiled again.." You know I'm going to have to keep my eye on Mike Stone. You know if I didn't know any better I'd swear he was trying to steal my job. Did his alternative therapy work this afternoon? Did it make you feel better?

"Yeah, you know it kinda did. Yesterday I was an emotional mess but today I just felt so angry at everything and everyone. I'm not even sure why... " Steve's sombre mood returned as he remembered yelling at everyone earlier.

Lenny felt sorry for the young man in front of him. He could tell he was struggling to deal with all the new emotions that this trauma had caused to spiral out of control inside him. He knew it was his job to help him and he was confident that he could.

"Listen, Steve, all the emotions that you've experienced are a normal part of the coping process. I know they can be distressing and disturbing but we can work through them and get you back on track. There's an exercise we can try if you're willing. Some people find it extremely helpful. It takes between twenty minutes and a half an hour to complete and it would save you having too many more of these therapy sessions...I've had people who found it so good they were practically back to themselves after it, no more nightmares or anything..."

"Why do I feel that's a little too good to be true? Now you're going to tell me the bad part right? " Steve said finding it hard to believe that a thirty minute therapy exercise could erase all the harm that yesterday's incident had caused just like that.

"Well, if you really want the downside, it doesn't always work on everyone and I've had a couple of instances where it has worsened the symptoms experienced by the people involved but like in any case the good results have more than outweighed the bad ones. It's not an easy exercise Steve. It involves making you relive the traumatic moment that led to all this in the first place. It could be quite difficult and harrowing but it's entirely up to you if want to try it or not. What do you think? I can't guarantee it will work for you but I really think you will benefit from it. We can do it right now if you'd like?"

Steve sat forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees and thought about what Lenny had said...difficult and harrowing...not many more therapy sessions...no more nightmares...not an easy exercise...no guarantees...relive the trauma...back to normal...

"Ok, let's do it!"


	16. Chapter 16

**A Shocking Busine****ss**

Chapter 16

" What do I have to do? " asked Steve, hoping that he wasn't going to regret his decision at a later stage.

"It's just a memory exercise Steve . We're going to get you to remember the most traumatic part of yesterday's incident and we need to analyse all the different emotions that induced. By talking about them hopefully we can get you to deal with them and accept them and move on from them. Ok?"

"You're not going to hypnotize me are you?" asked Steve suddenly realizing that he hadn't considered that possibility..

"No, Steve. There's no hypnotism involved in this exercise. It's all memory work."

Lenny got a notebook and pen, and Steve's report and moving from his desk he pulled up a chair in front of Steve's and sat down. He opened the report again and read through a portion of it for a few minutes. Steve could feel himself getting slightly anxious . Lenny noticed and spoke to him calmly...

"Try to relax Steve. I need you as relaxed as possible. Ok? I might take your pulse at certain intervals just to check your heart rate if I'm concerned about you. Is that alright?"

"Sure"...

"Alright, Steve. Let's get started. First I want you to close your eyes. Try and keep them closed until I tell you to open them as it helps you focus and concentrate. Ok? Now I want you to concentrate on your breathing and I want you to try to relax your breathing. Slow it down, nice and easy, in and out. "

Lenny kept Steve concentrating on his breathing until he was sure that he was as relaxed as he could be.

" Now , I want you to think back to yesterday Steve. You're in the alleyway. I want you to picture it in your mind. I want you to concentrate on the moment that you felt most out of control. I want you to remember that one moment that disturbed you most. I want you to dwell on it for a few moments. I want you to think about how you're feeling. I want you to remember that moment as you lived through it Steve.. Can you do that?"

" Yes..." Steve answered as the disturbing vision came into his mind . He was in the alley. He could see the shooter. The balaclava, those piercing green eyes,the barrel of his gun! He could feel his anxiety levels rise.. All the panic came flooding back. It was all so clear. He was searching for Mike...Time seemed to stand still... The gun jammed , the feeling of relief, the shooter went to fire again.. What if it worked this time? ..Oh God!...more panic...it didn't...more relief...The exercise was working. Steve was totally caught in his memories..reliving it in his head...

Lenny sensed Steve getting anxious but he was expecting it. He checked Steve's pulse and found it racing...

"Steve, You are in no danger...I want you to remember how you are feeling but I want you to remember that you are viewing this as a memory only... Memories can't hurt you...relax your breathing...nice and slow...and now I want you to open your eyes and look at me Steve... STEVE ! OPEN YOUR EYES !...

At this command Steve opened his eyes. The moment was gone, he was back in Lenny's office but his breathing was still really fast. His heart was pounding in his chest. The feelings still so fresh in his mind... He brushed his hand through his hair and tried to regain control of his breathing.

"Alright Steve. Take it easy Steve. Everything's ok. You did really well..." Lenny coaxed. He was keeping an eye on his pulse which was still faster that he wanted it to be.

"Relax...Breathe nice and slow...long slow breaths Steve, that's it. " The exercise had gone really well. Steve had reacted to the trauma exactly as he had at the time. To really make it work he had to continue while it was still fresh in Steve's mind. But it was a thin line...He had to be careful not to push too hard while Steve was still emotionally vulnerable... He waited just enough time until Steve's pulse and his breathing had settled a little...and then he continued...

"Steve, what moment did you visualize ? What moment had that strong reaction? The success of this exercise depends on your answers now. You must try to answer me truthfully. Ok? I know it's hard Steve... but we'll work through this together."

" The shooter had disarmed me... He had his gun pointed at me..."

Lenny had guessed that was the moment of trauma but had to allow Steve to find it himself in his own subconsciousness for this exercise to work... He had to be the one to identify the moment when he lost control " Ok, tell me how you felt then ? Describe to me as best you can what was going on in your head. I need you to tell me quickly while the moment is still strong in your mind. Come on Steve... I know you can do this!"

Steve had closed his eyes again. He was trying to capture the thoughts Lenny needed him to but it was very tough. They weren't feelings he'd normally share with anyone but he knew he had to this time. He had to share them to be rid of them. So he mustered up the courage to continue. " I was scared...I didn't want to die... I was scared...worried for Mike..."

Lenny was writing things in his notepad and observing Steve carefully. While the exercise was going better than he could have hoped for, he had to be ready to stop it at any time if Steve became too distressed.

" Steve, Mike wasn't in the alley. Why were you worried about Mike?"

" If he found me...dead...What would it do to him...could devastate him...Worried about Lee...if I die ...if help doesn't arrive...he won't make it..."

Lenny was writing again." You're doing really well Steve...any other feelings?"

" Angry...at myself...made careless mistakes...it's my fault things went wrong...didn't react quick enough...regret...things I never got around to do...won't get the chance now..." Steve would never open up about these things in his normal frame of mind but that was the problem. Things were messed up in his head and now in this controlled situation the words were just pouring out as the memories came flooding back and Steve felt that he couldn't stop them now if he tried. It was as if the floodgates had opened and he didn't have the strength to close them. So he kept going...

" Relief...can't believe the gun jammed...I'm still alive...but he's firing again...Oh God...more relief...anger...he's laughing...want to go after him...can't move...can't move..." Steve could feel his strength leaving... He couldn't continue...He felt light-headed...

"Lenny had been writing everything down... Steve had done better than he could ever have expected him too but his pulse was very fast and his breathing was becoming strained. He could see Steve struggling and was aware that he had swayed slightly in the chair... he had to stop this now!

Grabbing Steve's shoulders he spoke loudly and firmly...

"STEVE ! Look at me... The exercise is over. I want you to concentrate on my voice... You're in my office... I need you to breathe nice and slow...Come on ..STEVE ! Open your eyes! " Lenny started to worry. Steve was not coming around.

"...Feel ...faint..." Steve suddenly stammered.. He could hear Lenny but was finding it hard to respond...

Lenny flew into action..He loosened Steve's tie and ran to the window and opened the window fully as the late afternoon breeze came pouring into the room. He then bent Steve forward , his head lower than his knees and waited a moment or two as Steve seemed to come around...

" Take it easy, Steve... give it a minute...You'll feel better." He helped Steve back up slowly into a sitting position and went to get him a fresh glass of water. Returning to Steve...he placed the glass in his hand..." Here take a few sips of this it'll help..." Steve sipped the water and began to feel better except he felt totally drained...

" You weren't kidding...about that being a difficult and harrowing ...exercise were you? " Steve said starting to recover but still slightly out of breath and feeling tired. "What do we do now? "

"Now we wait until I'm sure you're ok and then we analyse the results. Don't worry the hard part is over. The rest is plain sailing! You did really well Steve. Better than I even expected."

They waited a few more minutes.. Steve had perked up and was breathing normally. He looked better although he seemed very tired. Lenny had gotten his secretary to get them some fresh coffee and he had made sure Steve's was quite sweet. Steve didn't like his coffee very sweet and complained at first but Lenny convinced him that he needed the sugar after his ordeal so he drank it under protest.

Feeling satisfied that Steve was doing better Lenny returned to his seat and took up his notepad.

"Now Steve, you've done the hard part of this exercise now it's my turn to do my part of the exercise. You just have to sit there, take it easy, drink your coffee and watch , listen and learn, my friend." Lenny said enthusiastically and in that moment Steve realized how much Lenny enjoyed his work. Steve had to admit that he was glad the hard part was over. He was exhausted. The exercise had taken a lot out of him. As Lenny started drawing and writing on his notepad Steve glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was five to four. God he felt like he'd been in Lenny's office for hours...Then Lenny continued...

Holding out his notepad for Steve to see, he had drawn a triangle in the middle of the page. " This is an emotions triangle. It highlights the feelings you experienced in that traumatic moment as you described them to me. Pointing to the bottom left corner of the triangle with his pen,he had written the word worry in black ink. That was how you worried about Mike and Lee... Then he pointed to the bottom right corner where he had written the words relief and regret in black ink. That was when you regretted things you hadn't done or said that you might not get a chance to and the relief you felt at getting another chance. The top pinnacle of the triangle had the word anger written in black ink. That is there because you were angry about all the things that went wrong or that you felt you did wrong. And in the middle of the triangle in large blue ink was written the word fear. That was the most heightened emotion you felt at that moment Steve. You expressed it to me in words and in how your whole body reacted. Fear of what was about to happen..fear of the unknown and fear for others. That's the main one that's caused your nightmares and your nausea. It's the one that caused you to feel out of control and the one that caused your anger today. It's the one that's consumed you and thrown you off base and out of character. Can you see that?"

Steve stared at the drawing on the page and the word fear sitting right in the middle of it. He thought about what he been through, and everything that had happened since.. Yes, everything that Lenny said made sense... He looked up at Lenny...

"Ok, that makes sense but how does that help me ?"

" We're not finished yet Steve. You see most of these emotions are negative emotions and that's why they have had a negative impact on you since the incident. You perceive these emotions as negative and harmful, therefore that's how they manifest themselves.. Sometimes we just need to change our perspective. So now we're going to relabel these emotions ."

Steve was getting confused. " Wait, wait...What are you talking about? How can you relabel them. They are what they are..pure and simple."

" Watch and learn, my friend...Watch and learn!" Lenny said . He reached over to his desk and retrieved a red pen. " Now we'll start with the emotion "worry". You said you worried about Mike and Lee but I wouldn't call that worry I'd relabel that compassion and using his red pen he put a line through the word worry and replaced it with the word compassion. That's the age-old emotion where we care for those who mean a lot to us. That's what you displayed by worrying about Mike and Lee. Next there's " relief " and "regret". You can't get any more basic human emotions than relief and regret. We are all relieved when things go right for us and we all regret things we should have done, Steve. So I'm relabelling them basic or to break them further I'm going to relabel them "natural" Again he crossed out the words regret and relief and wrote in red "natural". Next we have the word "anger". Anger Steve is again one of the most commonly felt human emotions. In your job alone anger accounts for most of the murders you end up solving. So where you say "anger" I'm going to relabel it "human" and in red pen again Lenny wrote the word human and crossed out the word anger. That left just one word "fear".

"Wait a minute Lenny, how can you relabel fear...? There's no way to relabel that one! " Steve said still slightly confused at this latest exercise. " And how can relabelling the words make me deal with them better?"

"Patience Steve ! We are nearly finished. Fear is again one of the most commonly felt human emotions. Steve , if any of us went through what you did yesterday we would all have felt fear without exception. Therefore I CAN relabel it "and crossing out the word fear he wrote the word "Normal"in red pen. " Now Steve here's where you come in again. You saw in your traumatic situation ,fear,anger, relief , regret and worry. I want you to read what you should be seeing...just the red words if you please!"

Steve took the notepad that Lenny handed him and read anticlockwise from the bottom left hand corner as instructed, finishing in the middle...

" Compassion... natural... Human... NORMAL "


	17. Chapter 17

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 17

Steve read the words and the word "normal" stood out the most. It was what he wanted his life to return to. How he wanted to feel again... Could it be that simple? he thought to himself. He looked up at Lenny who was now grinning broadly at Steve...

"You get it , don't you Steve?" Lenny asked still smiling... " The trauma you went through was abnormal but how you reacted was how any one of us in the same situation would have reacted.. Your reactions were normal. As soon as you accept that the less of a negative influence they'll have on you. I'm not saying you'll never think about it again Steve. I'm not promising that you'll never have another nightmare about it because at the end of the day I'm not making light of what you went through . It was a traumatic thing to have to experience . I'm just showing you that how you view what happened will ultimately be what helps you cope with it and move on."

Lenny watched as Steve listened to his every word and seemed to be trying to process what he had said. The boy had come along way in just this one session. He really felt he had helped him. He didn't seem as troubled now, as he had when he had entered his office an hour and twenty minutes ago. Lenny was trained to read such signs. Yes, he was sure Steve was going to be just fine.

Steve looked at Lenny and returned the smile and wagging a finger at Lenny he said...

" You're good Lenny...You're really good at what you do... I'm impressed ..."

" Why thank you " Lenny said bowing graciously "I do try you know" and then getting serious again for a minute he continued...

"You know you've come along way today Steve. You did really well. I tell you what I'm going to do. It's Friday afternoon so I'm going to clear you for active duty but not until first thing Monday morning. I want you take it easy for the weekend and for homework I want you to take this paper and if at any time you feel those negative emotions resurface I want you to take out that sheet of paper and read it out loud to yourself... Ok? I don't think we'll need many more of these sessions but let's meet on Monday afternoon say at four o'clock just to see how you got on." He handed Steve the sheet of paper then finished " Now you better hightail it back downstairs before I have Mike on my case for keeping you so long".

Steve laughed, took the paper, put it in his pocket and shook Lenny's hand.

"Thanks Lenny... See you Monday"

"Ok. You take care. And don't be late next time! .." Lenny jokingly scolded as Steve left his office.

As Steve came out to the outer office Lenny's secretary looked up from her typing again.

"Hey Steve, Do I need to make you another appointment ? "

" Yes . Monday at four o'clock please."

" No problem" she said as she wrote it down in her desk diary " Oh and Mike called. He was asking if you were still in with Lenny. He told me not to tell you but he sounded worried about you.. I thought you'd want to know that he called." Alice said smiling.

"Oh he did, did he? Thanks Alice.. See you Monday! " Steve said grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He stepped out into the corridor and slowly made his way downstairs towards his office. He didn't know whether he was just imagining it or not but he felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his soul. Damn, that Lenny was good! As he approached the door to the bullpen he remembered his outburst from earlier and paused for a minute. Oh well, he'd have to face the guys at some stage he thought. Better to get it over with. As he walked in everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at him. Steve smiled and seeing that he seemed in better form, as if in unison every detective put their hands up in the air as if in surrender. Steve burst out laughing...

"Alright...alright... I had that coming...You can all put your hands down. I'm unarmed this time! Sorry guys ,about earlier. Guess I was just a little tightly wound this morning!..."

With that the whole bullpen laughed and one by one crowded round him to pat him on the back to show there were no hard feelings and returned then to their desks. Steve stopped at Bill Tanner's desk on his way back to his own.

"Sorry for taking your head off earlier, Bill.. I was out of line ." Steve said holding out his hand to the other detective.

Bill took his hand and shook it..." Apology accepted... We're cool Steve...Besides you don't think we'd hold a grudge against a guy who buys us doughnuts do you?" Bill said laughing. " You better go in and see Mike. He's been like a cat on a hot tin roof since you went to see Lenny."

Mike had spent the last hour and a half worrying about Steve. What was taking so long? He hoped that Steve was getting on ok. He had eventually lost patience and rang and he had been told that Steve was still there. But it hadn't eased his mind any. He had tried to concentrate on his work but it was no use. He saw Steve return and saw him smiling. That was a good sign he thought. Then he saw the guys joking with him and saw how well Steve took it. He was laughing! He almost seemed back to his old self. But was that possible after just one chat with Lenny especially after all he'd been through in the last twenty-four hours? God he hoped so. He didn't want Steve to know he'd been worrying and fussing since he'd been gone so he pretended to be working and hadn't caught Steve's eye since he came back.

Steve walked to his desk and put his jacket on the back of his chair. He could have sworn Mike had looked up when he came in but he hadn't looked up since. Steve smiled to himself as he realized what Mike was up to. He knocked on Mike's door and on hearing the usual muffled "Come in!" he went in closing the door again behind him.

"Oh , you're back!" Mike said very casually not even looking up from his writing.

Steve walked over and stood in front of Mike's desk..

" Oh you are bad, you are really bad..you know that?"

"What are you talking about?" Mike said indignantly .

"You know what I'm talking about... You rang Lenny's office to check up on me..."

" I did no such thing...who told you that?"

" Oh yes you did...Alice told me. You were worried about me weren't you ?" Steve said wagging his finger at Mike and smiling at Mike's denials.

"No I was not! Alright, I called. But just to see what was keeping you. You know some of us have work to do around here. We can't all sit around talking to psychiatrists all day you know! " Mike finished gruffly but seeing Steve standing there smiling broadly at him broke his resolve to keep up the pretence. Taking off his glasses, he smiled and said " Ok,ok so I was a little worried. Are you happy now? You seem brighter. I guess talking to Lenny did some good huh?" Leaning back in his chair he observed the young man in front of him. He definitely appeared to be more at ease than earlier but he looked tired. The broad grin couldn't mask the fatigue in his eyes.

Steve sat down in the chair opposite Mike... " Yeah, you know I think it did. I think I freed some demons. It was tough though.. but I think it was worth it. Say where did that doughnut go from earlier? You know I think I feel like it now." Steve said rubbing his stomach as he suddenly began to feel hungry.

"Oh , you do huh? I left it on your desk " Mike said, secretly pleased at the return of the young man's appetite.

"Hey, would you like a coffee? My treat!" Steve asked, realizing that he owed him a coffee from earlier.

" If you're buying ,sure!"

Steve went outside smiling,paid for two coffees, poured them and retrieving the doughnut bag from his desk he returned to Mike's office with the refreshments. Sitting back down he handed Mike his coffee and breaking his doughnut in half he handed one half to Mike. " Here you go. Looks like you could use a sugar boost too!"

"Well, that's very generous of you I must say. " Mike replied ." You're not fishing for something are you, buddy boy?"

Steve laughed at Mike's suspicious nature.. " No, Mike, no strings attached honest..."

They had just finished their doughnuts and were drinking their coffee when a loud cheer from outside startled them both. Turning around Steve saw Bill Tanner racing towards Mike's office. Standing up he opened Mike's door as Bill came through it.

"What's going on?" Steve asked.

"Good news on two counts fellas. The hospital just called. Lee just woke up! He's going to be ok! "

Steve and Mike couldn't have got better news and they both beamed from ear to ear. Steve was especially relieved as he had felt somewhat responsible for him getting hurt in the first place .

" That's terrific Bill.. Is he up to visitors yet? " Steve asked preferring to see for himself if Lee was really ok.

" They said it will be tomorrow at the earliest before he can have visitors. For the moment it's family only but apparently he was asking for you Steve."

"I'll go see him tomorrow."

Mike listened as the two men talked about Lee but then thought of something and intervened...

" Wait a minute Bill, you said you had two bits of good news. What was the other?"

"Oh yeah, sorry Mike I almost forgot. The last shooter is dead. Apparently he was hiding out with an ex-girlfriend out in Oakland. Oakland PD got a tip-off and figured it might be our guy. When they surrounded the house there was a shootout and our guy got iced. The coroner is picking up the body in the morning. Looks like it's case closed guys. Mike, do you want me to fill the Captain in or do you want to do it yourself ? "

" Would you mind doing it Bill? I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure, no problem Mike. I'll go talk to him now."

"Great. Thanks Bill. Oh and Bill when you get a chance could you give Oakland PD a call and tell them I want a full report on that shooting first thing tomorrow on my desk. Ok?"

" I'm on it Mike..." and with those words Tanner left the office.

As soon as Bill left, Mike turned to look at Steve who had been very quiet while the discussion about the last shooter had taken place. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts and Mike found himself worrying again.

" Well, buddy boy, Looks like our luck is changing for the better, huh? "

" Hmmmm?... Oh yeah..." Steve replied distractedly.

Mike got up from his desk and closed his office door and sat on the corner of his desk beside where Steve was sitting, lost in a world of his own.

"Come on out with it... What's bugging you? And don't give me that I'm fine routine. This is NOT the time to remain silent...!" Mike was determined to get Steve to open up even if he had to shake it out of him!


	18. Chapter 18

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 18

Steve looked up at the older man who was patiently waiting for him to speak and decided that perhaps this was the perfect moment ,if there was such a thing,to clear the last of his demons.

"Well...I was just thinking... When I was up with Lenny and he had me relive that memory in my head...you know where the shooter had a gun in my face? Well...I remembered thinking in that moment that there were things I never got to say...Well... to say to you Mike... I mean you've been real good to me over the last three years and you've taught me a lot. You've always been there for me...anytime I was hurt or just needed company or advice... Especially now...at the hospital and letting me stay with you and last night...and this afternoon when you brought me out..." Steve was finding it hard to say what he had to say to Mike. Normally things like this were left unsaid between the two men although he had always felt they were silently acknowledged and understood. But this time he felt he had to verbalize the words for his own healing process to continue so he struggled on..." I guess you've become more like the father I never had Mike and I want to thank you...When I thought I was going to die...it bothered me then that I never told you that...That I never told you that I ..." Steve couldn't get any more words out. The lump in his throat had returned and he didn't trust himself to say anymore. All the while he'd been talking he hadn't looked at Mike but instead was almost talking to Mike's desk occasionally glancing up at him now and then to judge his reaction. Somehow it just made it easier. When he looked up this time he could have sworn for a brief second he saw a glint of moisture in the older detective's eyes but he really wasn't sure.

Mike didn't know what to expect when Steve started talking but he knew Steve well enough by now to know when something was bugging him and he could tell by Steve's actions now that whatever it was, it was something he wasn't comfortable talking about. He was acting nervously and wasn't looking at Mike as he spoke except for furtive glances now and then. As Mike listened to the words Steve spoke he understood why... They never conveyed sentiments like this to each other not verbally anyways. It was always assumed that they knew where they stood with each other and they tended to use actions and not words to get their point across. Any other time Mike would have interrupted Steve and told him not to get "mushy" on him but something about this time made Mike realize that Steve needed to say these things to help him deal with what happened so he listened carefully. When Steve said that he was like the father he never had Mike was very touched and could feel tears forming in his eyes. He blinked them away. He saw Steve begin to struggle to finish his sentence and felt that this was the right time to intervene.

"Buddy boy... listen.." Steve was still facing away from Mike so he reached out and with a hand on his chin, turned Steve's face towards him. " Look at me now. You don't have to thank me for anything. You've been there for me every bit as much and I know I can always count on you too. That's what makes us such a good team. That other stuff, well, you know I'm not very good at the mushy stuff but ,well I hope you know I feel the same about you. I don't even like to dwell on what I would have felt that day in the alley if that shooter's gun hadn't..." Mike felt a lump forming in his throat too so he shrugged it off and decided enough had been said on the matter. He looked at Steve to make sure that he had understood what Mike was clumsily trying to say and seeing a wry smile on his face which belied the obvious emotion in his eyes,he was satisfied that he had.

"Mind you...buddy boy. You tell the guys out there I said any of that and I'll have you back driving a black and white so fast your head will spin..Ok?" Mike chided steering the conversation back to what he felt more comfortable with and hoping Steve would do the same.

Steve laughed... " Ok Mike...My lips are sealed..."

" They better be buddy boy! ..." Mike said wagging his finger in Steve's direction as if thinking of something he continued...

" Hey, Steve, You know I just have to finish this report but after that what do you say we get out of here huh? We'll get a pizza from Mamma's and head home and watch the ball game . Sound good?"

" Sure...sounds great as long as my half has no anchovies on it..." Steve said smiling.

" Buddy boy...What do you have against anchovies?"

" You mean apart from the fact that they taste awful?" Steve said and watched Mike return to his desk, sit down , pick up his pen and glare at him for his dislike of Mike's favourite topping..."

Steve felt better for having had that conversation with Mike but there was still one thing bugging him that he needed to ask about. He wondered whether he should broach the subject now or maybe leave it until later but he finally decided to push his luck a bit further and spoke again.

"Hey, Mike, you know with all this going on, I never got to ask you how Jeannie is? She hasn't been home for a while. Is she doing ok?" Steve asked as casually as he could. Truth was he was thinking a lot about her since his near death experience too. He missed her since she went to college in Arizona and enjoyed her company whenever she came home. He knew dating Jeannie was out of the question. Mike would never agree to that but Jeannie was so different from all the other girls he'd known. She was very smart and brassy and definitely inherited Mike's stubbornness but she was also very caring and sweet. Yes for now he would settle for her friendship...

Mike was busy writing his report but looked up at Steve when he asked the question. He was about to answer when he saw that Steve was miles away again... He wondered then if the two conversations Steve had instigated were related...Perhaps there were things he needed to say to Jeannie too...After all they had become good friends...

" She's doing great buddy boy... actually it's funny you should ask. I rang her while you were up with Lenny. Boy, did she give me an earful for not telling her what happened sooner. Anyway she's decided to come home for the weekend.. Her exact words were " What you fellas need is some TLC and some home cooked meals! " Boy, it'll be good to see her..."

Steve had come out of his thoughts when Mike had started talking. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of Jeannie giving Mike an earful...and she was coming home for the weekend...Yes,... it sure would be nice to see her.

"Actually, Mike, I forgot to say that Lenny said I should take the weekend off...you know, get my head straight and take it easy...that sort of thing. He cleared me for duty first thing Monday morning. "

"Well, I'm glad he did...you've certainly earned some down time. Hey and you'll have Jeannie for company too. You know I thought of taking the weekend off too but you know there's a lot to do around here and I really need to keep my eye on those new fellas out there. Anyway it will give you two kids a chance to catch up."

" Maybe I can take her for a picnic in the park tomorrow ,you know the fresh air would probably do me good."

"Great idea, Steve. You know we have a favourite picnic spot in the Golden gate park. I'm sure Jeannie would show it to you."

"Great! Hey maybe you could join us for your lunch break too ?"

" I'd like that..." Mike said smiling as he returned to his writing .

Mike wrote the last word on his report and put down his pen.

"Ok Steve...all done. Get your stuff and let's hightail it out of here. "

The office had gone eerily quiet. All of the detectives seemed to be out of the office for one reason or another. Mike was fixing stuff on his desk and getting his things together and Steve was heading for his desk to get his jacket from the back of his chair when all hell broke loose. Inspector Martin and Sgt. Healy came through the door bringing in a homicide suspect for questioning. Although he was handcuffed , he was very broad and muscled and without warning he barged into Healy and sent him flying and then turned on Martin. Steve out of pure instinct rushed over to help, shouting back over his shoulder " MIKE! " He had to swerve sideways to avoid the bulky form of Dan Healy who flew backwards and landed heavily on the floor. Steve bent down to help Healy up but out of the corner of his eye he saw Martin getting repeatedly kicked and decided he had to act quickly. He ran forward and barreled right into the assailant knocking him off-balance and sending him flying onto the floor. However as Steve landed with him, his left arm whacked into the side of Bill Tanner's desk and a sharp pain shot up Steve's arm. Within seconds Mike was there pointing his gun at the man on the floor.

" Don't move another muscle..."

Other detectives had heard the commotion and had come running to help. They whisked the culprit off to the cells, and were attending to Martin who had sustained several kicks to his midsection. Mike had rushed over to where Steve had landed. He was breathing heavily and was holding his left arm.

" Steve, What in God's name did you think you were doing? You're not even fully back on duty. What happened your arm?"

" Hit it...off the desk... Sorry, Mike...had to help..." Steve tried to respond but the waves of pain that were assaulting him made it difficult...

" Is it broken ?" Mike asked praying that it wasn't... Steve had been through enough without that.

" No...I think I hit ...where I had the stitches" Steve gasped..

The stitches! In all the fuss Mike had forgotten his sore arm! He rolled up Steve's sleeve and lo and behold there was a dark crimson patch steadily growing on his previously clean bandage. Healy had come over to help and together they lifted him up off the floor and at Mike's behest brought him into his office and sat him down. Healy raced to get the first aid box and when he returned he handed it to Mike and spoke.

"I'm sorry Mike...We let the guy get the drop on us...This is all my fault...God I'm sorry Steve..."

Mike half glared at the shaken detective...

"Alright Dan, let's just get this arm seen to. We can discuss that later. Check how Martin is will you... he didn't look good." With that Dan left to check on his colleague.

"Don't be so hard on him Mike... It could have happened to any of us..".Steve said, the initial pain from impact was abating and it wasn't as bad . He had even got his breathing back under control.

" I hope you haven't burst these stitches hotshot..." Mike said as he carefully undid the bandage and peeled back the dressing.

" Ow! ...Easy... Mike" Steve grimaced as the dressing pulled at the wound slightly as it was removed.

Mike got Steve to put his arm on the desk and putting on his glasses he turned the desk lamp on to examine the wound.. There was blood slowly seeping through the stitches but from what he could see they were still intact. Thank God! Mike thought to himself. There was however a new large purple bruise surrounding the wound where he had impacted with the desk.

"Well...the stitches seem ok , buddy boy but it needs cleaning and you're going to have the mother of all bruises by tomorrow. Do you know how foolish that little stunt you pulled was? "

"Yeah, Mike. I'm sorry...It's just that Jim was in trouble and I had to act fast."

" I know...You did ok buddy boy... Just promise me you won't do anymore hero stuff until you're fully healed will you?

"Ok Mike... "

" Are your ribs ok?"

" Yeah Mike, they're ok."

The next twenty minutes passed as Mike carefully cleaned Steve's wound and put a clean dressing and bandage on it and again stood over him while he took two painkillers. Healy had come in to tell them that Jim had been taken to the ER just to get checked out but they reckoned he was just badly bruised.

"So much for my luck changing for the better. Huh? And thanks for fixing me up... again! " Steve said admiring the new bandage adorning his arm as he rolled back down his sleeve.

"You're welcome buddy boy. Now let's get out of here before something else happens. Ok?"

"Sounds good to me..."

And with that the two detectives got their coats and belongings and headed out of the office saying their goodbyes as they went. It had been a very long day and both detectives were feeling tired but Steve was most definitely the worse off of the two so Mike offered to drive. They got into the car and drove away hopeful for a peaceful and uneventful night ahead. It was just gone seven and they both felt that the last day and a half had been more eventful than they could have ever imagined or indeed wanted it to be.


	19. Chapter 19

**A Shocking Business**

Chapter 19 : **Epilogue**

They drove in silence to Mamma's and Mike offered to go in and get the pizza. As Mike got out of the car Steve called after him...

" Mike. Don't forget! ..." But before he could finish his sentence Mike answered...

" I know, I know, no anchovies on your half...! "

Steve smiled as he watched the older man walk towards the restaurant. He looked tired. Steve felt a tad guilty. After all he'd been so busy watching over Steve last night he hadn't got much sleep himself. In that moment he vowed to try to make sure that at the very least he wouldn't be the cause of another sleepless night for Mike. He would deal with whatever the night brought himself. He also realized how tired he felt too. His body was crying out for rest and he felt that his eyelids were getting heavier as time went on. Mike wasn't long and soon arrived back with their dinner and before long they had arrived home to Mike's.

The next hour went by quickly as they ate their pizza and sat down to watch the ballgame highlights on the tv. After only sitting down to watch the sport Steve found that he could no longer keep his eyes open and within a few minutes, he had dozed off in his chair. Mike looked over at his sleeping partner and smiled. He knew Steve had been through an awful lot in the last two days but finally things seemed to be returning to some form of normality.

Mike decided that Steve should sleep in the spare room tonight. He needed a good nights sleep in a comfy bed. He just prayed that Steve wouldn't have any nightmares tonight. Getting up and turning off the tv, he then went upstairs and made up the bed in the spare room which was just down the hall from his room. When it was ready, he came down and shook Steve's shoulder gently...

" Steve...Steve...Hey sleepy head! Come on now...Wake up Steve ..."

" Hmmmmm? What?..." Steve said drowsily looking around and realizing that he must have fallen asleep while watching the game. " Oh..Sorry Mike...Must have dozed off...What time is it ?" Steve said covering his mouth as an enormous yawn came without warning...

" Its nine thirty buddy boy...Time for you to get to bed... Come on...I've made up the bed in the spare room...Let's go..."

Mike turned off the lights and locked up as Steve made his way upstairs. By the time Mike finished and made his own way upstairs Steve was already in bed. Mike went in to check on him and sat on the edge of the bed.

" How's the arm? Better let me have a look at it..."

" It's ok...I think...The painkillers are still working " Steve said as he held out his arm and Mike checked it out. There was a slight bit of fresh blood on the dressing but nothing too bad thankfully...

" If you're going to see Lee tomorrow it would be no harm to get the doctor to check that out just in case. Ok? And if you need me during the night just holler...I'm only down the hall. Oh and in case I forget here's a sleeping pill and a glass of water ...You might want to take it...At least it will make sure you get a good night's sleep. Will you be ok? " Mike asked as he put the pill and the glass on the bedside locker.

" Yeah...I'll be fine...And I promise I'll get the arm checked out. Ok? Now will you get to bed too ? You look like you're fit to drop yourself. What time is Jeannie arriving tomorrow? "

" Her plane arrives at San Francisco International at seven-thirty am. I'll pick her up and drop her home here before I go into work. You try to have a lie-in. You need the rest. "

" Ok, Mike..." Steve said yawning again... God , he felt so tired.

" You know I think you're right. Time to get these old bones off to bed. It's been some two days! Huh? Night buddy boy. Sleep well."

" Yeah...you can say that again.. Two days I don't want to repeat anytime soon! Night ,Mike. You sleep well too..."

With that Mike patted Steve's shoulder and sleepily headed out of the room. As he got to the door Steve called out...

" Oh and Mike...Thanks for everything!... See you in the morning."

Mike looked back at Steve and smiled.

"Anytime, buddy boy..See ya " and with that headed down the hall to his bedroom yawning as he went.

Steve lay back against the soft pillows and his mind started racing... Mike was right...Some two days! So much had happened in such a short space of time. Steve hoped he'd never have to go through anything like it again but it was all part and parcel of his profession so there were no guarantees.

At least everything was getting back to normal. The case was closed except for the injured shooter to stand trial. Lee was going to be alright...Steve was extra pleased about that... He wouldn't be back to work for a while but at least he'd be back with his family...Steve was looking forward to visiting him tomorrow. His last vision and memory of Lee was a horrific one so he hoped that seeing him ok tomorrow would erase the bad one from his head. He'd been able to tell Mike things that he normally wouldn't dare to bring up in conversation. He felt so lucky to have a friend like Mike looking out for him and was comforted by the fact that he was just down the hall and to top it all Jeannie was coming home and he'd get to spend the weekend in her company...Yes, things were looking up, and apart from his sore arm and chest he was feeling fairly ok...except tired...Boy was he tired... He could feel his eyes threatening to close again so he propped himself up on his good arm and reached over to take the sleeping pill.

As he picked up the pill and was about to take it he suddenly stopped...He thought about it for a minute and then put it back down on the locker. His gut instinct told him that he didn't need it...He lay back down and soon felt his eyelids grow heavy...Just then another thought entered his head and smiling to himself he half glanced at his shoulder and whispered " thanks angel! " before he drifted into a deep and healing sleep.

Once more in his dreams he dreamt of Jeannie, back in the park, laughing and enjoying each other's company, peaceful and calm only this time... the nightmares did not return...

THE END

**Thank you for taking the time to read and follow this story. I do hope you have enjoyed it and I would really appreciate your reviews... Until next time!  
**


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